Welcome back to Midweek Madness! Today we learned that Kate Middleton will always have to walk a step behind Prince William, that Britney staged a photo op while on vacation in Mexico, and that Jennifer Aniston still loves whatshisname.
"Kendra Loses Her Baby!"
The gist of it: Kendra and Hank were living in Philadelphia. Kendra moved to L.A. and Hank moved to Minneapolis to play for the Vikings. They couldn't film her show in Minnesota, because it's boring there and there's snow everywhere. So she's shooting in L.A. and Hank is the primary caretaker of the kid. In other words, Kendra did not lose her baby. The child is living with the dad. Moving on: Eva Longoria and Tony Parker had lunch on December 1, and shook hands at the end of the meeting. "It was all pretty formal," according to a source. Nicole Kidman is either pregnant or wearing a tight dress. Her rep says she's not pregnant, but since her hair is back to its natural red — you know, how knocked-up women stop dyeing — the magazine prints an arrow pointing to her belly with the words "baby bump"? Lil' Kim is mad at Nicki Minaj for copying her look, calling her a "Lil' Kim wannabe." Mark Ballas's dream dancing partner is Jennifer Aniston. "She's just so perfect." America's Next Top Model Winner Ann Ward, who is 6'2" and weighs less than 100 lbs., says she is not anorexic. Everyone in her family has a high metabolism! She also says she's healthy the way she is and she never noticed how skinny her waist is. Teen Mom's Ryan — of Ryan and Maci — bought his son Bentley a mini-electric four-wheeler for Christmas. Price tag: $2,000.
Grade: F (not seen, not heard)
Jessica Simpson is "blinded by love." She's making millions of dollars — actually, her fashion empire is about to gross $1 billion — but she doesn't have a pre-nup and she recently put her fiancé, Eric Johnson, on her payroll with a title and salary, but no real responsibilities. The "betrayal" part comes from minor random facts drummed up to make Eric look like a gold-digger and famewhore. For instance, he just got divorced, he likes to read get-rich-quick books, and he once had a fling with a cheerleader in high school. Anyway, Jessica gave him a corporate credit card so he could pay for dinner. What's wrong with her paying? We don't know. Moving on: Kate Middleton is trying to "take control" of her wedding. Usually the Queen would get really involved, but it's all down to Kate and William. Kate is picking out her own wedding dress, and her family will pay for it. The name "Diana" is mentioned like 65 times in this one page of text. Sandra Bullock is inviting Jesse James and his kids to her house in Austin for Christmas Sandra wants her son Louis to have this extended femily — Chandler, 14; Jesse Jr., 12 and Sunny, 6 — in his life. But Kat Von D is not invited. Kelly Bensimon has "muscle overload," because, "her seven-day-a-week running habit is robbing her of her needed curves." (see image 7). Women! Can't be fat, can't be thin. Just FYI. Britney Spears is telling all of her friends that she and Jason Trawick are getting married. PETA has informed Kim Kardashian that she is their next target, so she'd better watch her back. Mary-Kate Olsen sometimes goes to yoga three times a day, if you care. Jennifer Aniston is not just sad and lonely — so is her mother. Nancy Dow spends "lonely days in a cramped North Hollywood apartment," "longing for Jen's company" and "wishing there was something she could do to make things better between them." Sniffle. Nancy's friend claims: "She says,'I'm sad. I wish I had my little girl back. I want to be there for my baby.'"
Grade: D- (seen, but not heard)