Royal Skivvies Up For AuctionS

Great news, weirdos! Some weird guy in Florida is auctioning off a really old pair of Queen Elizabeth II's underpants.

TMZ reports that "Baron" Joseph de Bicske Dobronyi acquired the panties more than 40 years ago, when they were left on a friend's private plane. The "Baron" passed away earlier this year, and his estate's auctioning off his possessions, which include these royally ordained unmentionables and I assume a wide assortment of bodily fluids in various jars.

There is more than one thing that's slightly troubling about this story, and I have many questions. First, why is "Baron" in quotation marks? Is he not really a baron? Is he just some guy who spent his life running around, thumping his chest and giving himself nonexistent royal titles? Did no one put a stop to this?

Second, he kept a used woman's undergarment for 40 years? Did he launder it? Uh, what did he do with it? Why did his friend give it to him? Did he ask for them? What was his problem, bro? Did the queen know he had them? How did the underwear get left on a plane? Is the Queen a member of the Mile High club?

Third, the underwear in question are almost comically large, and it's not often that I reflect on the convenience of the non-bulkiness of panties of this modern age. While there's plenty to be criticized in this world of ours and while a case can be made that this whole big blue and green orb is going to hell in a handbasket, at least women's underwear no longer contain rows and rows of tiny buttons. Life's difficult enough without complicated underwear.

Queen Elizabeth II: Underwear Up For Auction [TMZ]

Image via AP