So this happened. But so did a lot of other things, like lots of black lace, random pops of grown-up glamour (which is not really what the AMAs are about, but hey), and Nicki Minaj. Oh, where to begin?

I know what you're thinking: So what did Katy Perry REALLY wear? Because this is just too tame, right? Sparkles and puffy rosettes are merely low-level quirky, and we've come to expect a lot more. Instead we get a highly embellished but otherwise basic, almost-pretty dress? Clearly marriage has totally dulled Katy's personality! Which you'll read about in Midweek Madness before the year's over.

Taylor Swift, what have you done?!?? And do I maybe like it?

Advertisement

Miley Cyrus, Toilet Paper Bride.

A very pretty surprise from Rihanna!

Sponsored

Jenny McCarthy: fun! Just adventurous enough without stealing the show from the moppets. This night is all about them, after all.

Speaking of: Christina Milian demands your attention. Or her lacey-sparkly-tiny-blingy space cadet dress does, anyhow.

Keri Hilson rocks the reptilian texture, with bonus draping.

Pink, appropriately glowing, keeps it simple. She's got better things to do, after all.

Nicki Minaj: Our thoughts exactly.

Johnny Weir seems to be wearing thigh-high boots. As he damn well should. The real issue is whether or not Rachel Zoe styled him.

The Black Eyed Peas tonight will be accompanied by the stars of Fraggle Rock.

Someone once gave me a black lace kerchief handmade by some old woman in Spain. This dress reminds me of that kerchief. Dark, brooding, pretty. If I were Heidi Klum, yeah, sure, I'd wear it as a dress.

Julianne Hough, also doing lace, though this seems more Grammys-level glamour.

Mandy Moore: yes, please.

Willow and Jaden Smith brought their babysitter.

Julie Benz demonstrates the single-boob pop. Also, she's wearing Chanel, and she wants you to know it.

Sheryl Crow is definitely the most comfortable person on this carpet.

Diddy with singers Dawn Richard and Kalenna Harper from Dirty Money. This blue is gorgeous. I wish we saw more of it. Also, all outfits here have little leather accents. That's how you know they're a team, I guess? Whatever. That blue!

Hillary Scott of Lady Antebellum challenges you with an optical illusion.

Another optical illusion, less-elegantly so, courtesy of Avril Lavigne.

Karina Smirnoff is shiny.

It could just be the expression on his face, but Usher looks kind of tired. He must be exhausted from doing double duty as Justin Bieber's swagger coach.

It was Cheryl Burke's accessories that ultimately did her in.

And yet more black lace, this time from Savannah Outen, who keeps it youthful without going full Milian.

Here we have The Band Perry. Discuss.

John Legend and his lady Christene Telgen. Gorgeous gown, though perhaps a bit too much so for this crowd.

Looks like Mitchel Musso is getting a little too big for his britches.