Betty Crocker has been around for 83 years. But in corporate America age does not equal wisdom, and so the company's running an awful OMG I HAVE PMS MUST EAT BROWNIES campaign with their compelling new PMS SOS iPhone app.
You'd think we have enough PMS-tracking apps, all of which are predicated on the assumption that some clueless fool needs help tracking a lady's mood swings (and this is pointless; almost any woman is capable of going from happy to batshit sobbing no matter what the time of the month). But there's always room for more! In fact, both your accommodating lover and you yourself can benefit from this app. Listen up, ladiez:
When it's "that time of the month," most girls could really use a couple of things: a little advanced warning, a bit more understanding and support, and a lot of chocolate.
That's why we created PMS SOS - the app that turns "Is it that time of the month?" into "It's that time of the month!" For both members of a PMS-affected couple.
When PMS looms, girls will get a coupon for a chocolaty Warm Delights dessert — and an alert that "that time of the month" is upon them. So they know that their guy's breathing didn't actually get louder — it just seems that way.
And guys get to be forewarned and forearmed too - with the same monthly alert and coupon for a Warm Delights® microwave dessert bowl. Our advice: hand the treat to her and step aside, man!
And while it is harder to say things you'll later regret when your mouth is full of Warm Delights dessert, PMS SOS offers pre-written apologies for any PMS-induced situation, along with funny e-cards telling him things like "It's over. Come over" that you can send right from the app.
This free app also helps guys navigate this special time - from a place to practice foot massage, to suggested escape routes. Because sometimes the best thing to do is get her chocolate and get out of the way.
Aside from the exhausted PMS tropes, do you really need a reminder to go buy a dessert? Give me an app that sends a coupon anytime I'm stoned or working late or sitting around at home on a Friday night, or have had a particularly bad day or a celebration-worthy good day — then you have an effective marketing strategy.