I haven't shaved my legs in over a month, because it's cold and who cares, leave me alone. Does this mean I am a Russian woman? Maybe! They (we?) have stopped shaving their legs, apparently. It's causing major problems.
Not for us, mind you, but for people who just can't deal with women's leg hair.
The worst and most visible offender is model Natalia Vodianova, who sported hairy legs the other night at the Harper's Bazaar "Women of the Year" awards. People can't stop talking about it! Mostly in negative terms.
The gossip blog Whyfame can't get over how Vodianova could do such a gross thing. "What is your first thought when you are wearing a leg revealing dress? Wax your legs! But Natalia Vodianova doens't have this kind of thoughts," they write. Hm, maybe she saw herself in the mirror and thought, "I look awesome," instead of, "my legs will displease the gossip press."
The Daily Mail gives Vodianova a bit more credit than the Whyfamers, attributing her leg hair to forgetfulness instead of some perceived personal defect. However, they warn, "Every woman knows that if you're going to go stocking-free, then your legs must be silky smooth." NO EXCEPTIONS! Doing otherwise will lead you to become haunted, or develop a reputation for killing people's hard-earned buzzes.
Finally, Fashionista says Vodianova looked good at the awards party "despite" her legs. Well, that was nice of them.
Where did Vodianova get this crazy idea, that she could walk out of her house with her legs all hairy? No one is really sure—she hasn't held a press conference about it yet. But some wonder if her brazenness might be evidence of a larger trend among Russian supermodels.
As this ad for Gillette's "Venus Embrace" razors suggests, hairy Russian woman-legs is a serious problem. In addition to being ugly and disgusting, it also leads to congestion on that nation's water slides:
It seems that leg hairs have little suctions on the ends that will cause you to stick to smooth surfaces, leading to public humiliation/boys laughing at you/shame. So you better shave that stuff off before you head out to the water park, okay?
Let's be serious now, and clear. Sporting hairy legs is not always a statement: Some of us don't shave because we just can't be bothered to do it right now, or we're not feeling like it, or because we're not concerned with how people will respond, or we just prefer our legs that way. But even when going without shaving is not intended to "say something," observers will often turn it into a statement. And it doesn't matter how awesome the rest of you looks—if there's hair there, then people will care. And stare. And fuss.