For all of us who really didn't hear enough about Tiger Woods's sex scandal, mistress Loredana Jolie is now telling her side of the story. Her book comes out next month — and it promises to be really weird.
The NY Post offers up some tidbits from The Real Diary: Lessons from the Good Time Girl to Champion (suspiciously not listed on Amazon). Jolie apparently has an odd way with words: she writes, "As a love and sexual partner he is largely endowed and safe sex with him was definitely champion status." Well, it's nice that they used protection. Jolie continues, "When I was having my relationship with Tiger. I was like on the seventh cloud especially from a sexual perspective." And on Elin Nordegren:
Obviously they didn't have such a close relationship because if I was in his house where the hell was she? If I had my husband, I would make sure I know [who] was coming to my house. At that point I started realizing it was more a less [sic] financial reasons why they were married — she was in it for the money.
Jolie is not just a literary genius — she also has secret knowledge that could change the world: "My diary also reveals intimate secrets and details that can save millions [of] people worldwide. I have slept with some of the wealthiest and most powerful people on the planet." It's not clear whether she's talking about inside info about military strategy or a cure for cancer made from the mingled semen of the rich and famous, but one thing is pretty clear — her "intimate secrets" do not include a mastery of copyediting.
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