J.Lo, Joan Collins and Lucci, oh my! Not to mention Gladys Knight, Halle and Paris. Unless you have a very high tolerance for glitz, glam and cleavage, avert your eyes from the 32nd Anniversary Carousel Of Hope Gala!

To demonstrate the dress code: Keri Lynn Pratt. You'll notice that random cut-outs and gratuitous embellishment was strongly encouraged. Glitz was mandatory.


Even Barbara Davis complies.


Heading up the Sparkle Brigade: Susan Lucci, in Susan Lucci drag.


Nancy O'Dell. I still hold Austin Scarlett's elimination against her.


Quite a dress LisaRaye's almost wearing. Reminiscent of a late Picasso rip-off.


Going Cinderella, we have Leah Remini.


Donna Mills, ready for her close-up, Mr. DeMille.


Garcelle Beauvais almost broke rank, saved herself with this enormous lump of bling.


For the obligatory "Oympus" element, we have Brandy.


Paris Hilton has the world-weary Vegas glam of a woman twice her age.


Nicky, meanwhile, looks literally weighed down by her aggressive dress. Wonder where these girls get their baffling style sense?


Oh.


The infamous monstrosity: somehow both trashy and dowdy at once.

Here were the rebels. Halle Berry will rock simple elegance no matter what the rest of the party's doing.


Raquel Welch did classic bombshell.


Mira Sorvino went in the other direction. On the upside, she's ready for your Sweet 16.


Sela Ward has the serenity of a woman who knows, whatever else the rest of the room's in, she's safe in an LBD.


Daisy Fuentes makes us ask: better to be underdressed, or over? Discuss.


When Lisa Rinna embodies elegant restraint, it's a red flag.


Gladys Knight shows that it's all about confidence. Well, that and transparent metallic lace dresses with enormous stoles.


I think we can all agree Joan Collins walked away with this one.


[Images via Getty]