We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

As far as we can tell, "Running Russell Simmons" involves his being surrounded by competent women who do stuff for him. Which explains some of the premiere party — if not the presence of Al Sharpton and Spitzer-friend Ashley Dupre...

We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

This whole loose, cropped skinny jeans thing, as modeled by Linda Vojtova, is popular amongst teenage boys in my neighborhood. And that's all we'll say about that.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Do you think sometimes Jackson Pollock looks down, sees all the "retro-modern" prints he inspired (as sported by Paige Butcher), gets drunk and shouts some unintelligible obscenities? (Okay, War Games also played a role here.)


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Knight's helmet? Grecian vase? Paper doll outfit? Christina Paljusaj's frock is the Rorshach blot of dresses.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Simone Reyes, meanwhile, just turns her entire torso into an unambiguous frowny-face emoticon.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Selita Ebanks is so out the door. We can't blame her.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Tricia Clarke: can we please get a moratorium on "vagina arrows?" We know where they are, okay?


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

I'll say this for Rachel Heller's shoulder action: it actually did distract me for like 30 seconds from the fact that her boobs are totally visible.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Piper McCoy's visible lingerie is positively demure in comparison.


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Remember those boxes full of pins, and you stuck your face in to make an impression, even though it kind of hurt, and then, along with rain sticks, they all showed up at garage sales about two years later? Yeah, Veronica Webb does. And got creative!


We Can See Your Ladybits. At Russell Simmons Party, No Less.

Ashley Dupre, a lesson in modesty.



[Images via Getty]