Welcome back to Midweek Madness, your friendly neighborhood tabloid roundup! Today we learn about John Travolta's (literally) steamy gay sex; how Jennifer Aniston's been "sport fucking" some dude; and the alleged size of The Situation's penis. (Small.)
"Farrah's Pregnancy Shocker!"
Farrah from Teen Mom was at a hair show in Iowa, wearing a prommy blue gown, and had what appears to be a baby bump. Boston area OB/Gyn and plastic surgeon Dave David — who does not treat her — says: "Farrah looks like she's about 20 weeks pregnant." MTV denies that she is pregnant, and from the picture it seems like she just had a big lunch.
Grade: F (sex in the smush room)
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"Kardashian Baby News"
Although the cover states "Twins for Khloe," inside, we learn that Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom are trying to get pregnant with no results — yet. She says: "Getting pregnant is much harder than we thought — but practicing making babies is amazing." There's more stuff you never wanted to know in this story — info about Khloe's fertility monitor, and a picture of her prenatal vitamins. In Kourtney news, she is "obsessed" with trying for another baby with Scott "American Psycho" Disick. As for Kim, she recently took a pregnancy test and the results were negative, but this is still news. Basically this whole thing is Unsoclited Uterus Update times 3. Here are some "secrets" from the set of Dancing With The Stars: The Situation has not been partying at all because of the show. Bristol Palin is "sweet." Brandy and Maks "hate each other." Next: "Why Demi Is Still Standing By Ashton" doesn't really reveal anything about their relationship, except to point out the obvious: She Tweets about him constantly while remaining very private. A "source" says Demi is desperate to hold on to Ashton, and won't pressure him to address the cheating reports, because if she does, "she risks driving him away." Meanwhile, Ashton allegedly has "empty nest syndrome" because when he met Demi, she had all these fun kids — he'd make sandwiches and babysit and entertain — and now they're all grown up and don't need that anymore. Add this to the fact that Ashton "hasn't had a hit movie in a long time" and a source claims: "Frankly, I think he's having some issues with where he is with his life. I wouldn't be surprised if he did stray." In other news: Brad Pitt and George Clooney love to play pranks on each other. An insider says: "Brad and George track each other down on their individual movie sets and send an endless stream of male escorts to each others' hotel rooms. They will pay them in advance on a credit card to make sure the escort shows up." Also! Brad offered people $1000 to pee in the vents of Clooney's car. Then George offered $5,000 to pepper spray Brad's car and paint it orange. Ah, to be rich and childish! Vanessa Hudgens got into four fender-benders in 2010 alone — the 21-year-old keeps damaging her Audi! "Sandra's Turning Into Angie" bases its findings on the fact that Ms. Bullock has a house in New Orleans, wore a black dress and has a non-white adopted baby. Just like Ms. Jolie! (see image 7)
Grade: D- (carefully planned fertility monitor sex)
"Glee Gone Wild!"
Here's what's up: Lea Michele has lost weight. And a source says: "She used to be so down to earth and fun, and now she is so stressed and uptight." Amber Riley (Mercedes) is "difficult to work with," and at a recent event, "refused to talk to the press." Cory Monteith (Finn) gave his phone number to random girls he met on tour, "shamelessly hooked up with them" and sometimes brought them back to his hotel room. (Why should be be ashamed? He's 28 and on a hit TV show.) Mark Salling (Puck) is "out til all hours of the night." Meanwhile, Kevin McHale and Jenna Ushkowitz (Artie and Tina) are living together, and Amber says, "I'm at work at 5 am and I get home at like 10pm, so I'm seeing Mr. Sealy Posturepedic." Next: George Clooney's being "pressured to wed." He went to Sardinia to visit Elisabetta Canalis's family, and her father took him outside "for a drink and a chat." Signor Canalis asked The Cloons about his intentions toward his daughter. "George did his best to dance around the question," says a source. Signor Canalis told George that if he's not interested in making Elisabetta his wife, he should walk away and let her find a man who's interested in marriage. George is a serial monogamist, and a source says: "He never flat-out tells the women he dates that he's not going to propose. He gives each of them hope that she could be the one changes him." But Elisabetta is "pretty confident" that she and George will get married someday, so she is "sticking around." Khloe Kardashian wore a tight gray bandage dress recently, and Kim Kardashian wore the same dress three days later. This is why there's a cover line which reads "Kim's Latest Insult." Chelsy Davy and Prince Harry have broken up — she told him that it's over for good — and now he's been going out until 5 am and drinking very heavily. Angelina Jolie is "afraid" because Brad Pitt is "constantly" surrounded by beautiful young women on the set of Moneyball. The article uses a Tweet from an EXTRA on the film as a the crux of this story; the Tweet (to someone else random) reads: "haha awe!! no need for jealousy.. aside from my time spent with brad pitt ;)" So. There's no evidence that anything happened but "Angie is beside herself." Kanye West has canceled a scheduled appearance on Oprah's show, and Oprah is not happy. Bristol Palin says she "really connects" with Teen Mom's Maci — "The other day I saw an episode of Teen Mom and then I texted her, saying, oh my gosh, I totally went through that exact same thing." Scintillating. Lastly: "Can You Believe They Dated?" digs up old pictures of Megan Fox, January Jones and Kristen Bell (see image 8).
Grade: D (sex with a mattress)
"Inside Britney's Recovery"
Britney now has 50/50 visitation rights with the kids. She's "optimistic about her future" thanks to Jason Trawick. They might get married in 2011, and have already symbolized their commitment by purchasing matching Snuggies — one pink, one blue. Britney sees a therapist a few times a week and takes medication to treat her bipolar disorder. And! That's about it. Nice to read some good news for once, though. Former Bachelorette Jillian Harris is no longer with Ed Swiderski, whom she met on the show. But she's really vague about what happened. "It was the last thing I wanted to do," she says. "It's terrible to have to leave because the other person doesn't know what they want." The story about Jennifer Aniston's "secret lovers" claims that Jen loves dating, having a good time and doesn't want to settle down — but knows that her America's Sweetheart status would be threatened if people knew how much she was into just casual relationships. "No woman ever likes to think of themselves being attracted to asses," says an insider. "But frankly, you have to have a lot of confidence to ask Jennifer Aniston on a date. And guys with that much confidence tend to be full of themselves." Apparently Josh Hopkins (who is on Cougar Town) calls Jen his "sport fuck." During the summer, they were friends with benefits. Afterward, she wanted a relationship, but he was like, no thank you. He's a player into younger girls. As for Hard Rock owner Harry Morton, it's unclear if they actually dated or if she was just making real estate deal with him. Chris Gartin (Hugo from True Blood) and Jen like each other, but he's in the midst of a divorce.
Grade: D+ (sport fuck)
"Living A Lie."
Interior designer Robert Randolph is writing a "shocking new memoir," out in December, and alleges that on dozens of occasions he personally witnessed John Travolta in "lewd sex acts" with other men at spas. Most recently last October. Randolph says: "He came on to me a number of times." A "family friend" says: "The truth, is they love each other very much. John and Kelly are best friends and they like the convenience of being together. If they remain a couple, a lot of people could criticize them for living a lie. But they get along really well. Relationships aren't always so clear-cut." Whoa. In "Knifestyles Of The Rich & Famous," a doctor who does not treat Madonna says she had a chemical brow lift with Botox done on her forehead to raise her eyes to give them that "refreshed" look. Also: filler in her smile lines and cheeks, to smooth things out. As for Courtney Love, she may have had eyelid surgery, laser resurfacing and an additional nose job (see image tk). Lady Gaga and Luc Carl went to Rogue bar in NYC and the bartender was a former Real World: Key West castmember named Paula, who reported on what they ate and drank. Apparently Gaga said: "I want lots of babies!" and Luc said: "No, I don't want any more than two." Also, Gaga complimented Paula breasts, and asked if they were real. "I told her they were implants and she said she wanted to get them. But Luc likes real boobs. That's why he adores her." Oh no! Avril Lavigne and Brody Jenner have broken up! And so soon after they got tattoos of each others' names! Taylor Momsen "clicked" with Jack Osbourne when she was in LA with her band — she's 17 and he's 24, btw. An insider says they have a lot in common, and he's thinking of moving to NYC to get to know her better. Oh: On the over, "Brad's Secret Date: Where's Angie" refers to Brad taking Zahara to the American Girl Place while Angie was working on her new film about Bosnia. Hot and sexy date. With his daughter. And dolls. There's an interview in here with Chris Lambton about why he turned down The Bachelor. Producers were wooing him, "but it didn't feel right." He also says: "When my kids are 20 years old and looking for love, I want to say, this is the amazing story of how I met your mom. Not oh yeah, she was the best of 25." Teen Mom's Farrah has a "dangerous new boyfriend." And he's actually dangerous: She may be dating Tony Lovato, who is a 30-year-old tattooed rocker who stabbed a man to death three years ago and says: "if anyone could make her happy, I would say it would be me." The stabbing was self-defense, by the way. Finally: Melody Eckerson, a chick The Situation brought back to the house in Miami — and hooked up with in the smush room — tells the mag: "I wouldn't even call it a one night stand, because he only lasted a few minutes and then sent me on my way." In the cab from the club to the house, they were making out "hardcore" and she says: "He lifted up his shirt, saying one of his abs hurt, and asked me to get on top of him to massage it." Wait — so like, a can in the six-pack HURT? Okay. Once they were at the house, he wasn't ready to perform because he had to eat first. As for his "little situation," Melody says: "Let's just say, I'm thinking of my pinky."
Grade: C+ (sex in a spa)
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