After watching three seasons of True Blood, I've come to the conclusion that like a Value Meal at McDonald's, the show packs in a lot of crap that's fun while it lasts but leaves you feeling unsatisfied.
It was great to see Sookie be snarky to the King, but why did it take her so long to get some ovaries and start telling people off? When she finally told Bill, "You do not own me," didn't it feel like a long time coming? And when she cackled after putting Talbot's remains in the garbage disposal, didn't it seem out of character?
As usual, we had lots of other burning questions:
- What are Hoyt's mama and Summer up to?
- Why haven't we seem Terry's armadillo named Felix?
- How come the Crystal's brother — the dude in HotShot high on "vamper juice" — could shoot his Uncle Daddy but not Jason?
- Why would they bring back Alcide and yet not make up a reason for him to have his shirt off?
- Did anyone else laugh out loud when Alcide and Bill were described as "eyefucking each other"?
- What was up with the creepy baby doll on the floor of the house Hoyt and Jessica are moving into? Is it a symbol of the kids she'll never have? Or will it come to life at night and stab them both?
- What is wrong with Sam? Why did he shoot poor illiterate and desperately-in-need-of-discipline Tommy?
- Why was Eric seeing visions of Godric? And why didn't he listen to the advice his maker was doling out?
- Don't the writers know that the concept "Jesus Is Magic" was already discussed by Sarah Silverman? Also: Don't you want more Lala and Jesus and less of everyone else?
- Where are Tara and her new haircut going?
- How amazing was Sophie-Ann's outfit? And won't she kill Bill Compton dead since she's twice his age?
- Is Sookie's trip to fairyland a good thing or bad thing for her? And will she hook up with some hot shirtless fairy boy, or do fairy boys only like other boys?
True Blood: Revenge, Abortion & A Womanly God
True Blood Becomes A Fairy Tale
True Blood: How Long Does It Take To Find Out Who You Are?
True Blood: Your Source For Hot Gay Vampire Sex
True Blood: Girlfriend In A Coma
True Blood: Will You Be My Vampire Bride?
True Blood Heals Heartbreak With A Hot Hunk O' Werewolf
True Blood: Vampire Sex Is Twisted
True Blood: Big Foot, Nazis, And Tender Moments
True Blood: "Conscience Off, Dick On"