Hoo boy. One anonymous individual came through with the finest hiney pumpin' story of the day. You will never, ever be able to look at a bee costume the same way again. Off we go.
My anal sexy story is...embarrassing.
Two years ago, my husband and I lived in Chicago. Our apartment building was a six flat, with the bedroom windows facing each other. It was an unusually warm Halloween, and naturally, we decided to go out, drink and have a good time.
And boy-oh-boy did we have a good time. Looking back, I can't even recall how we got home. I can remember that anal sex seemed like an excellent idea, I also remember I was still wearing most of my slutty bumblebee costume. Classy. Not noticing how much it probably hurt, I got really into it, and even screamed "COME IN MY ASS" at the top of my lungs, over and over again, like some horrible porno.
I wake up the next morning, in immense pain and still in my slutty bumblebee costume only to realize...we slept with the window open! And so did our neighbor! Our neighbor was a notorious party pooper, constantly knocking on our door when the xbox was too loud, if we had friends over past 10pm, you get the picture. The very thought of this man hearing my proclamations embarrassed me, but I couldn't be 100% sure he did, so I decided not to dwell on it.
Well, he did. Later that day he was not shy about lecturing us and letting us know how rude it was, how his sleep is valuable to him, yaddayaddayadda. I.Could.Have.Died. Probably the most embarrassing moment of my life.
Needless to say, we've never had anal sex again.
Oh, how I love this woman. She is just my favorite. I love her more for the fact that she called her neighbor in this story a "notorious party pooper " without the slightest twinge of irony. COME. IN. MY. ASS.