The thick, rich, creamy, dreamy September J. Crew catalog has arrived! Dying to know what's hip, now, outta sight for fall? The answers lie within.
• Coats as dresses, worn with over-the-knee socks. Sure, you might feel a little warm when sitting down to dinner — and you might flash your crotch to the busboy — but fashion is about sacrifice!
• Looking like you spent the night getting shagged senseless.
(Actually, this is hot style for all seasons.)
• Mixing and matching accessories that have a bordello-chic vintagey vibe, as though grandma was a pricey hooker.
• Pretending to be a spy so far undercover that it's okay to seem like you're pretending to be a spy.
• Dressing like a petulant 7th grader who didn't do her homework and thinks House Of Mirth ended on a happy, upbeat note.
• $1200 jackets made from the hide of Snuffleupagus, may he rest in peace.