According to E!, Bristol will appear on DWTS along with ... wait for it ... David Hasselhoff, Audrina Patridge, and The Situation (but — phew — no one from The Bachelor or The Bachelorette). E! also points out that she's appeared on an ABC show before — as herself on The Secret Life of the American Teenager, in which she befriended another teen mother. Which is what makes all this so weird. Previously, Bristol has basically been a professional teen mom. She made abstinence PSAs, posed for tabloids with Tripp, and generally set herself up as a moral exemplar to her generation. And now she's going to be doing the cha-cha against The Situation?