Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we roll around in the dirt dug up by In Touch, Star, Life & Style, Ok! and Us. This week: Pixelated blobs at the True Blood wedding! Travolta's weave fridge! Spiced Hamm sandwich!!!
This mag claims that when Britney And Jamie Lynn Spears were at a Lady Gaga show, Britney made a joke to JLS about how they could have a double wedding. The sisters went back and forth about all the crazy things they could do — arrive in a horse-drawn carriage, or walk each other down the aisle! "A lot of it was crazy stuff," says a source. "But Britney is just crazy enough to put the plans in motion." Moving on: There are two pages featuring 12 photos from Hilary Duff's honeymoon in Cabo, where they had "amazing dinners" prepared by a personal chef and they fished, drove go-karts and played games. In an interview with Scott Disick's ex-girlfriend, we learn that he and his friends would bring girls home, share them and watch each other, and an "insider" says that he was violent with his ex when they were in college. Oh, and few years ago, he stripped in front of her parents. Yuck.
Grade: F (digging through rotting, worm-filled compost)
"Stabbed In The Back!"
Do not confuse this with being Stabbed In The Heart , or, um, Stabbed In The Heart. Here's how Angelina was stabbed: Brad Pitt's mom is still friends with Jennifer Aniston, and Angie doesn't think that's fair, so to punish Jane Pitt, Angie took her twins to Eastern Europe (on the Salt promotional tour. Yawn. The Bachelorette's Ali and Roberto are "struggling" to save their romance and going to counseling to deal with it — they're fighting about everything, from closet space to finances. And love "isn't the only reason" they're trying to make it work: "They both want to be famous, and realize they're more marketable as a couple," says a source. FYI: Ashlee and Jessica Simpson both love mom jeans. Tom Cruise is "desperate" to look ten years younger by the time he shoots Mission Impossible IV later this year. He's working out, eating grilled chicken and veggies and CONSIDERING getting Botox and fillers. Hilary Duff is included in the "Hollywood Baby Buzz" section of the mag, because she got married and therefore is "hoping for a visit from the stork." Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony interviewed to become members of a country club in California, and a witness says: "J.Lo showed up looking like Jackie O., and Mark was wearing some ridiculous preppy outfit — it was like they looked up what people wear to country clubs, and then tried to imitate it." You may have heard that Sharon Osbourne wants to sue In Touch for printing an untrue story about Kelly Osbourne; the very short item is on page 48. It claims that on a night out at Hollywood hotspot The Colony, supposedly sober Kelly was spotted downing several vodka cocktails. An insider says: "She could barely walk. Her friends wanted to get her home, but she wanted to stay to party and drink more." Finally, in a piece called "Heidi And Spencer's Twisted Scheme," a friend says: "Their popularity is dwindling, so they teamed up again to generate buzz in hopes that they'll land their own show. They still see each other and talk daily, as they plan the next step to get back into the spotlight." Boo.
Grade: D- (sowing seeds in sand)