Maybe you've heard of "vatooing." This video claims that it's "literally a tattoo for your vagina." Except it's not. It's body paint for the upper-pubic area that stays on for seven days—as long as you "avoid friction."

While I personally think that pussy arts and crafts is a waste of time and money, I thought that women who were into it were doing it for sexual purposes. The no-friction guideline rules out missionary, and the vatoo isn't visible during doggy, so that leaves girl-on-top. So you have do all the prep work and the heavy lifting?

One girl in the video gets a spider web and a spider vatooed on her because "there's been no one down there in a while," which is kind of awesome and hilarious. She goes on to say that she's into "self-love" and likes looking in the mirror. The host inanely monotones, "I'm sort of in the same boat as you. I can't imagine that. That's great. I like your attitude."

Another girl got a glow-in-the-dark "69." And then they all "hit the streets" while Jersey Shore-type fist-pumping music plays. This is seriously like a parody of itself.

Vatooing on Video [The Luxury Spot]