The allegedly mediocre Middle Men is about Internet porn. And the Los Angeles premiere was certainly...porn-tastic.

Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Jena Malone's 90s mini was one option for this event: the better one, I might add.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Amy Smart went with "day-spa."


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Selma Blair did, too: although I must say, she's rocking the simplicity of this. And I have several ideas about who she might be looking at...


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Starting with Stephanie Pratt.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Maybe Laura Ramsey? Although this is stealth-awesome.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

I too like vintage lingerie detailing. Not necessarily in Milena Govich's combination.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Claudia Jordan must be feeling either over- or under-dressed.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Mary Carey. Because, really, what's to say? Her boyfriend was a dick on Celebrity Rehab. You can say that, I guess.


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

Bridget Marquardt: demure by comparison!


Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

When I was little I loved to draw dresses and every single time I would give them, no matter what the dress was, a Marie Antoinette-style "opening curtain" effect. I would have been all about Jacinda Barrett's frock.

Porn-Worthy Fashions — And Luke Wilson! — At Middle Men PremiereS

For once, Luke Wilson's look of bemusement makes sense.

[Images via Getty]