Says Holly Hill of infidelity: "This is what every man already knows and I think what every woman deep down already knows."
Y'know, do what you want. Choose your choices. Want an open relationship? You're both cool with that? Go for it. Don't believe in monogamy? Fine. But don't say that's the only valid choice.
That's precisely what Hill (whose memoir Sugarbabe, about her time as a professional mistress, is a hit in her native Australia) seems to be suggesting to CNN. "I thought it was men that would like the book...but in fact it's women, because what it says to women is that if your man cheats on you, he still loves you, and he's probably running about average."
You see, if a man cheats, it's your fault - or not, it's unclear - because that's just how they're made. "I think that cheating men are normal," says Hill. "Monogamous men are heroes. Monogamy does have a place in relationships, but not on the long-term. Men are hard-wired to betray women on the long-term."
Hill learned that most of these men sought her attention because they simply weren't getting enough sex from their wives."Men need to get their rocks off," says Hill. "If a woman crosses her legs for any length of time and doesn't arrange some sort of alternative for her man, he is going to cheat on her."
"Women need to remember the difference between why women and men have sex," she says. "Women tend to value intimacy. For men it's often the thrill of the chase, or the quick sex with a stranger. Men don't even have to know their lovers' names! It's often just a cheap thrill and has nothing to do with us as a loving girlfriend or wife. Once we understand that, it's much easier to let him go off."
For those women who might be sentimental and childish enough to mind? Well, get over it, I guess. You can't argue with science, ladies! When are we going to realize that?
In case you're wondering about Hill's own relationship?
While Dean has the green light to have sex with other women, he's not permitted to stay overnight. He also can't take his lovers away for romantic weekends. And Hill says she'll have an all-out hissy fit if he spoons another woman. Hill, on the other hand, is allowed to spoon her lovers because Dean has no problem with that and recognizes that intimacy is an important part of sex for women. Hill isn't, however, allowed to wear any of the outfits Dean has bought for her when she meets up with a lover.
So, it would seem, if you don't cater to your man's needs he'll stray...but he will even if you don't? Unless, that is, he's a heroic superman. Funnily enough, I guess I know a remarkably heroic group of men, because a great number of them seem capable of monogamy, evolutionarily or otherwise. On the other hand, Hill's argument has significant weight on its side: not long ago, I saw a movie that made many of the same points very compellingly. It was called The Client List, and it starred Jennifer Love Hewitt.