Ugh! Having bad extensions and dropping the names of prescription drugs doesn't make you Lindsay Lohan!

There's no sex in this SFW clip, seen on TMZ, from "Hustler's Untrue Hollywood Stories: Lindsay Goes to Jail" (see how they did the please-don't-sue-us thing?). Not that we're expecting very much from porn, but seriously:

Where's the raspy voice? Where's the vague sense of entitlement and mild paranoia? Why are there no references to Marilyn Monroe? Where are the LEGGINGS?

Lindsay Lohan Gets the XXX Treatment [TMZ]