Is this a preview for the next Zorro movie? A Decemberists music video? Someone's really bad student film? No, it's a commercial for the weight-loss drug Xenical, and it's scary in about fifty different ways.

First of all, it's obviously not true that fat people can't tie their own shoes or lead exciting lives. But what kind of exciting life is depicted here anyway? Trench warfare? A firing squad? A bleeding knife? These are the worst reasons to lose weight we've ever heard (and we've heard some bad ones). New Zealand, where the ad aired, has been considering a ban on direct-to-consumer drug marketing for some time — and no wonder. I feel like I need a Valium just to deal with the side effects of watching this one.

The Most Epically Insane Weight Loss Commercial Ever Made [Copyranter]