Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Spencer Pratt wasn't invited to last night's Hills finale event at The Roosevelt Hotel, so he attempted to sneak in by wearing a fat suit and old man makeup. His costume, JustinBobby, Kelly Cutrone and more after the jump.

Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Spencer's plan didn't work. The closest he got to the party was the sidewalk across the street. Still, I found his fake eczema more appealing than what Audrina had on.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Growing up, there were these two stores in my local mall—Rave and G+G—where young women who weren't going anywhere in life could purchase the outfits to get them there faster. You know, lots of short, tight stuff with arbitrarily places cutouts and lace-ups. The clothing was inexpensive—and cheap. I'm not saying that Audrina looks slutty. I'm saying that she looks like she shops at my old mall.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Meanwhile, Kristin looks like she's going to a prom in a bad school district.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Kelly Cutrone gets it.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

It always seems like a good idea to get stoned before leaving the house, until you realize that you have to be around other people, and you start to freak out internally because you're afraid that everyone can tell you're high.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Unless, of course, you don't think about stuff, in general. In that case, you're totally cool to be stoned around anyone. Even parents and shit.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Jay Manuel says that you're never supposed to match your eyeshadow to your dress. And he does know a lot about makeup.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Prediction: The tape holding that dress onto her tits will last longer than her career.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Prediction: She started pouring her cocktails out of the martini glasses and into tumblers after her feathers got soggy and gross.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

I have the urge to remove Lo, and replace her with spider plant and hang her in some old lady's carpeted kitchen.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

I have the urge to remove Whitney. Next picture!


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

My guess is that Brody Jenner spent about $900 trying to look like he's from East L.A. And he still didn't get it right.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

You'd think that someone who dresses like this when going to a televised event wouldn't be able to afford a car, but you'd think wrong, since he can obviously afford a car as you can see by those keys hanging off his belt loop.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

Also, you can tell he has a car because he was clearly hot-boxing with Frankie and JustinBobby on the ride there.


Spencer Pratt Crashes The Hills Red Carpet In DisguiseS

This is what a bestselling author looks like.