Can you brew bathtub gin? Can you keep up with a well-cycled male chauvanist who rides like he's in the Indianapolis 500? Do you think of yourself as a liberated woman? You should be wearing the Mistress Collection. By Funky.

As you can tell, this vintage ad campaign is completely looney tunes. Today's fashion advertising may sell sex and liberation, but only the Mistress Collection paints such a vivid picture — of a woman into stripping, ocelots, suckling pigs, home-baked bread and erotic poems.

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It's tough to say what's more fascinating — the idea of trying to describe the perfect mistress? Or the idea that a woman would want to dress like one? And where is that lady going in that open-necked black studded bell-bottomed jumpsuit thingy? And is that picture with the black guy in the middle basically the best thing you've ever seen or what?

Mistress Collection By Funky [Chateau Thombeau]