This Is Why Someone Needs To Create A Sundress For Men (NSFW)

[Pittsburgh, July 3, Not Getty and NSFW]

Oh, now, calm down. I've seen plenty of nudity on this site before. This image is a perfect segue to bring up an issue that we, as men, often have to deal with when we're subjected to oppressive humidity. (Okay, not often.) But it is a problem. For this gentleman, at least. What, your boyfriend's ballsack doesn't ever tumble out when he wears baggy shorts? No? Well, he's lying. Possibly.

And, unlike you, he can't get glittery stars glued on his man-parts to make them look more fancy. Scro-jazzling? Somebody get on that.

Anyway, this is a problem for some guys in the summertime. I like to keep things loose and aerate myself because, dammit, sometimes it's just too hot for properly-fitting shorts and underwear. This, unfortunately, is the closest thing men have to a sundress right now. As you can see, there are drawbacks and flaws in its design. How can we fix this? I'm open to suggestions.