Greetings, You Pretty Little Readers Of Jezebel Nation

My name is A.J. Daulerio, editor of Jezebel's brother-in-law site, Deadspin.com. Since it's a holiday for most people who have normal jobs, and some editors would like to feel normal for just one day, I've been deputized to babysit this precious site.

Let me tell you about myself:

Sex: M
Sexual proclivity: Super-alpha-hetero
Interests: Smokin' and drankin'
Pubic hair: Frizzin'

A piece of unsolicited relationship advice you should follow because, more often than not, it turns out to be true: Never date a man whose favorite book is "The Kid Stays In The Picture." He is only there to break your heart and watch it die before his lying eyes. He's a melodramatic flake. He only feels normal when things hurt. He is a coward in daredevil clothes.

Let's not make any hard-line rules. Some of you will disagree with my approach or this experiment, but it is only temporary. Enjoy it, if you can. I welcome your feedback and will respond to you compassionately, like you are all just lost puppies in the pouring rain. Arf-arf.

Email me here with your tips and requests: adaulerio@gmail.com

Or if you'd like to talk on the telephone, I can be reached at 917-854-3630.

Over at Deadspin, we usually start the day with a song. Here's one for you.