Gwyneth's Diet Is More Famous Than She Is

Gwyneth Paltrow recently revealed she has the bone-thinning condition osteopenia — but when did her health become the most interesting thing about her?

In a recent GOOP, Paltrow wrote,

I suffered a pretty severe Tibial plateau fracture a few years ago (requiring surgery) which lead the orthopaedic surgeon to give me a bone scan, at which point it was discovered I had the beginning stages of osteopenia. This led my western/eastern doctors in New York to test my Vitamin D levels, which turned out to be the lowest they had ever seen (not a good thing).

Our tipster wondered if just maybe that bone-thinning could have been worsened by a combination of punishing Tracy Anderson workouts and detox diets, and it's certainly worth pointing out that the "teeny-tiny dancer body" aesthetic Anderson advocates for her clients might not really be all that healthy. But since when did Gwyneth's bone density become big news? Why do we hear more about her bodily functions than her acting?

A lot of this is Paltrow's own fault. After all, she put the bit about osteopenia in her newsletter, and she (or her acolytes, I guess) are the ones who fill said newsletter with info about her diet and exercise regimen. Another part of the problem, though, is that Paltrow's acting career isn't exactly distracting us from what's on her plate. It's been a long time since her Oscar, and her roles in the Iron Man films have been about as interesting as a cup of detoxifying cucumber juice. Stepping down her film career may well have been a conscious choice to allow Paltrow to spend more time with her kids, but in the process she's become a sort of high-end, health-conscious lifestyle guru — the kind who says things like "my western/eastern doctors" and tells you to make sure your coconut water is sugar-free. Which wouldn't be a bad living, necessarily, except that I think Paltrow's capable of more.

There's still time to pull it out, though. Paltrow's pronouncements can seem holier-than-thou, and her image is a little prissy, but the right role could turn all that around. I suggest she play someone conspicuously unhealthy: a junkie or a hard-drinking lady with debt problems. She once said, "I can't pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year" — but she's an actress, and pretending is her job. I'd like to see her pretend to make some shitty choices while she's at it — audiences might fall in love with her again if they saw her as someone who occasionally chugs whiskey rather than wheatgrass. Maybe Paltrow is cool with being the aspirational diva of detox, but it doesn't seem like that much fun. And if I were her, I'd rather be known for the passion of my acting than the density of my bones.

Vitamin D [GOOP]