Man Becomes Sex Addict After Fall From Tree • Rot Your Brain With Palinisms

• An 81-year-old grandfather from Switzerland has been put under house arrest by his family after a fall from a plum tree allegedly turned him into a sex addict. But maybe his family is just mad about something else.

"Sex mad" Angelo De Luca recently spent thousands of dollars courting a prostitute "young enough to be his granddaughter." He says she has given him "new life force and courage" and claims she is his "only confidant." Sounds less like a sex addiction than a sadly delusional relationship, but then again, I'm not a therapist. • CBS News reports on the ongoing problem of unprocessed rape kits. Thousands of kits are being kept in storage for years at a time. Both rape victim Valerie Neumann and Law & Order actress Mariska Hargitay testified recently at a congressional hearing. Hargitay, who has received thousands of letters from victims, says the kits "must be tested. We are consciously letting criminals walk again." • According to new statistics, 80% of food in poor countries is being produced by female farmers, but many of the women farmers don't even have the resources to feed their families. Farmer Rosemary Mubita told Developments: "Poor women farmers don't get any support. They need help with seeds, fertilizer, credit. They are the ones who are growing the crops and cooking the food to feed their families, yet often are forced to go to bed hungry." • Surf's up, and it's gone to the dogs. According to Reuters, dog surfing season has begun - and there is even a competition (followed by a weenie roast and a screening of the film Marmaduke). • Patricia Morgen has been ordered to pay $9 million to victims of her real estate Ponzi scheme by U.S. District Judge Charles Breyer. She is also going to spend the next 15 years behind bars for defrauding more than 400 investors with false promises of real estate profits. • The Kettering Medical Center in Dayton, Ohio has announced their decision not to change their practice of serving only married couples at the reproductive clinic. The Kettering Center has denied IVF and other treatments to single women before, but after recently reevaluating their policy, they decided not to change the discriminatory practices. • Although men still earn about 20% more than women in most industries, women are closing the pay gap. According to the U.S. Department of Labor 51% of workers in high-paying management and professional jobs are women, and, on the list of high-paying jobs for women, CEO comes in at number one. • The Conservative-Liberal Democrat coalition in the UK has proposed a ban on identifying men accused of rape. Writing for the Guardian, Julie Bindel calls this suggestion an "absolute disgrace," and points out that it could keep victims of known offenders from coming forward. Furthermore, the ban reveals a certain tendency to doubt victims of rape, and place the needs of the accused before that of the victim. Read Bindel's entire rightfully rage-y take down here. • Do you miss the days of George W. Bush and his famous "Bushisms?" If you answered yes, you will be overjoyed to read some of Slate's "Palinisms." Just don't let your head hit that desk too hard. •