If it's Wednesday, this must be Midweek Madness! As always, we "read" In Touch, Us, Star, Life & Style and Ok! so you don't "have" to. Burning questions:
Did Britney have a meltdown? Is Sandra the happiest mom ever? Do real men wear pink???
This magazine should be called Lying Liars & The Lies They Tell Weekly! Oh wait — this is exclusive, meaning "made up." Robert Pattinson was late to the set because he'd gone to a strip club and Kristen Stewart got pissed. So Rob told Kristen that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her, and proposed… that they'll get married one day. He can't imagine being with anyone else, etc. This story trails off into random factoids, like: Some scenes in Eclipse had to be reshot because test audiences noticed that KStew's hairpiece was askew; she had to get a new wig that would stay on. Also, a scene in which Bella professes her love for Jacob — and kisses him — had to be reshot because tween audiences thought it was too racy. Oh, and: RPatz has his personal security team clear out his hotel room when he checks out so that his dirty socks don't end up on eBay. Moving on: Kim Kardashian is moving to Miami, not only to be near her sisters, but because she wants to spend more time with Cristiano Ronaldo, who vacations there. Ed Westwick and Jessica Szohr are back together! Britney Spears fired Jason Trawick as her agent, "which clears the way for the next step — perhaps a trip to the altar." Except they might be breaking up, because Britney has a hot new bodyguard, with whom she had lunch on May 10. Lastly: If you hate Sex And The City, you can use this map to decide which places in NYC to avoid (see image 7).
Grade: F (ash)