Facebook Groups Celebrate Slut-Punching And Sandwiches

Facebook users have apparently designated May as National Pissing Us Off Month — groups have formed to promote both "National Women Bringing YOU Sandwiches DAY" and, more upsettingly, "National Punch a Slut in the Head Week."

National Women Bringing YOU Sandwiches DAY (why the caps, sandwich-cravers?) takes place May 17, and involves the following:

WHAT TO DO:
1. Find a woman.
2. Tell her you want her to bring you a sandwich now (don't forget to say please so she is more willing and much happier about it!)
3. Tell her exactly what you want! :)
4. EAT the DELISH sandwich and ENJOY! ♥ mmhmm tastey!
5. INVITE ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS to this awesome event! (and tell them to become a fan of the page! we'd greatly appreciate it)

Spread the word!

Several commenters are fighting back, offering to bring celebrators of the holiday a "knuckle sandwich" or "sh*t sandwich." However, user Courtney Vale retorts, "Why do so many other women find this dumb? They're probably just really bad at making sandwiches." I can't speak for all women, of course, but I am great at making sandwiches — for myself. And I would like to declare every day Make Your Own Damn Sandwich Day.

Women Bringing YOU Sandwiches DAY is merely obnoxious, but downright disturbing is another Facebook event, National "Punch a slut in the head week" [sic]. Stretching from May 15-22, this week's only description is "Some Slut's need to learn their lesson the hard way." But the real lesson needed here, as is so often the case with Internet assholery, is a combined course in grammar and human decency. Many of the comments on "Punch a slut in the head week" are too offensive to reproduce, but user Constantin Gerasimon appears to have the right idea: "Why do over 16 thousand people think its ok punch someone? let alone becasue of an accusation of how much someone has sex?" Laudable — until he closes his comment with, "It's not your problem leave the sluts alone, the sti's will get them anyway." Even this mixed message apparently constitutes troll-bait for fans of slut-shaming, one of whom responds, "hahah look its the bleeding harts lol." I'm not sure whether it's disturbing or comforting that the most objectionable opinions on the Internet are often espoused by the worst spellers. What I do know: If Facebook really is the bellwether of youth attitudes it's cracked up to be, we are all doomed.

National Women Bringing YOU Sandwiches DAY [Facebook]
National "Punch A Slut In The Head Week" [Facebook]