The World Premiere of Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time at London's Vue Westfield was not exactly fit for royalty. Unless, that is, royalty really likes bedazzled faces, gratuitous feathers, and really, really handsome men?

Gemma Arterton's extravagant gown gives the effect of imminent electrocution, no? Well, this is royalty we're feting here!


This might also excuse J.Gyll's suspcious shine and third piece. (The vest, kids! The vest!)


Nothing, however, provides adequate explanation for Toby Kebbell's louche silk loungewear.


Daniela Lavender (with, natch, Sir Ben) provides her own red roses, thank you very much. Does that mean they have to be Muppet-esque and appliqued onto her dress? Maybe. Sacrifices must be made.


While red shoes take Sarah Cawood's getup into Minnie Mouse territory, I mean, she must know that: clearly, this was deliberate. So, you know, go on with your bad self.


Now might be a good time to note that there was an odd practice on this red carpet of showing ass-shots of every getup. To preserve the attendees' modesty, I have omitted said gratuitous ass-shots, as in no case was there some detail that might otherwise have escaped our notice. I mean, you can see Una Healy's epaulets and studs just fine from here.


Paloma Faith, per usual, prefers to fade into the background. Luckily for her the background is geometric, bedazzled and vaguely "hippie-boho-creative-embellished" as EBay would have it.


When I saw Preeya Kalidas's dress I was like, "oh no! What if she forgot to bedazzle her face to match?!" False alarm. Phew!


AbFab is not cited enough as a fashion influence. Props to Kerry Katona for rocking Patsy hair.


Are you familiar with moddle David Gandy? I suggest, if not, we make his smoldering acquaintance.


[Images via Getty.]