It's a truth universally acknowledged that, because it's an event that encourages high-fashion risk-taking, the Met Costume Institute Ball results in some of the year's most spectacular Bads. And Worses. And we haven't even talked "Ugly" yet...

Some pundits are already raving over Wintour's Chanel. I think it looks like a window treatment. An ugly window-treatment.

As to co-chair Oprah? I think her ruffly de la Renta is frumptastic.

She was in good company: Mariska's blue is stunning, but the ruffles? Ravenous.

That goes ditto for Abbie Cornish's Louis Vuitton.

And can we talk about Jessica Szohr's Versace?

Riley Keough, in Thakoon for Gap, is literally being consumed.

Did we mention Mary J's J. Mendel?

Or, for that matter, Rosario Dawson's lingerie-on-top, gramma-bathroom-on-the-bottom Giambattista Valli?

I see where Maggie Gyllenhaal's going with this Louis Vuitton. I also see "valance."

The Vegas showgirl look, as represented by Ivanka Trump and Versace.

Oh, and Blake Lively's Marchesa.

And I think Padma Lakshmi's Roberto Cavalli goes in this category.

I asked my boyfriend what he thought of January Jones' YSL. He said, "well, maybe if the dress code was 'Gothic tracery'...?"

Vera Farminga goes "milkmaid" in Sophie Theallet for Gap.

Going with the bizarre bridal trend, Kirsten Dunst does Rodarte for Gap - and her shoes are definitely making me blue.

Carey Mulligan in Miu Miu isn't awful, but it's dull and slightly too cas, yes? Whatever, she's still batting like .800.

Look, I like evening pants, I do. I'm not sure Alexa Chung's whimsical "little tramp" look qualifies as either. Good try, though.

And Tina Fey: why do you make me put you in the Bad? Why?

Sean Lennon and friends are always "wacky!" I'm speaking specifically here of Charlotte Kemp Muhl's mustard...costume.

To reach high is to risk a bad fall. Example: Elizabeth Banks's Gucci ostrich costume.

Renee Zellweger loves Carolina Herrera. This gown is ugly.

The Kaiser's belt is veering towards "cowboy." Also, "parody."


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