Are you ready for the most intense 4 minutes, 38 seconds of your day, via Janice Dickinson? The chemicals have aligned for her interview with Out, where topics include—but are not limited to—"fist fucking" and dance music.

Seriously, it's like she has queer Tourette's or something. In the text version of the interview, she rambles on about all things gay, spewing out whatever (she deems to be) relevant gay-related phrases that fly into her head, like "AIDS," "Elton John," and "Mother's Day."

The gays need more money. My gays need more money for AIDS and AIDS research. Elton John, pediatric AIDS — we need to find a cure for AIDS. I'm obsessed. Here's the deal: I love my daughter, she's out there, Mother's Day is coming, Mother's Day to all you queers, but we need to find more money for AIDS. That is why I decided to do music — to raise money for AIDS, more research, and the cure for fucking AIDS. Thank you.