Welcome back to Midweek Madness, where Margaret and I sink our teeth into gossip from In Touch, Star, Us, Ok! and Life & Style. This week, another tattooed bikini-clad lady hooked up with Jesse James; Johnny Depp rebuffs Angelina's advances.
"Diets That Work." Margaret found this very boring; it's basically bikini pix of Kim Kardashian with notes about what she eats and how much she works out. There are a few recipes for smoothies and salads and so on. Although Britney is on the cover, she is not part of the cover story. They just wanted to show a photo of her in a swimsuit. Also: After reading this story, Margaret had a cookie. Moving on: Sandra Bullock is "losing the child she loves." A "friend" says of Jesse James' daughter Sunny: "She has already basically lost one mom, and now it's like she's losing another." This unidentified source puts words in the six-year-old kid's mouth, saying: "I'm sure she's crying her eyes out, pleading,'Mommy, come home.'" (Please note how the cover line is, "Jesse's daughter begs Sandra: MOMMY COME HOME!") A "pal" says Cameron Diaz is "presenting herself as a sexy and fun alternative to needy Jessica" on the set of Bad Teacher, her movie with Justin Timberlake. "She acts like Jessica doesn't exist." Are Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet "secret lovers"? In a word, no. But during her marriage, Kate started wearing an inscribed gold ring that was a gift from Leo. A source says that there have been times that they were attracted to each other, but always gravitate back to a brother/sister dynamic. Lastly, "What I Ate Today" by Ashlee Simpson-Wentz: In the morning, she had Starbucks coffee and a yogurt and granola cup; for lunch she had green salad and pasta with olives; she snacks on chocolate all day, and for dinner she had a Taco Bell Mexican pizza.
Grade: F (decaying tooth pulp)
"Married To A Monster." Folks, we're going "Inside Sandra's Heartbreak." There are eight pages! A source says Jesse James has been with a few other women and Michelle McGee is "just the first person who's gone public." And: "This is not an isolated incident. When Sandra is away, he gets bored." Another source says Sandra is grieving, and "It's as bad as when her mom died in 1997. She can't look at him and can't talk to him." There's a picture, which Us declined to publish, of Jesse James doing the Heil Hitler salute, making a mustache with his finger and wearing an SS-style hat, but an "insider" says: "He's just a history buff." Please note: The West Coast Choppers logo is very similar to the Nazi iron cross (see image 7). Jesse James would regularly post internet ads looking for "biker models." He would check out the photos and invite ladies to the office, and a source says he had a type: hot, tattooed biker chicks with big boobs. Next up, a quote from Dakota Fanning: "There's a scene in The Runaways with a record player, and they had to teach me how to use it." She was born in 1994, people! Kingston Rossdale is pretty awesome; evidence is this photo of him wearing pink nail polish and playing with dinosaurs (see image 8). Lastly: Jessica Simpson is starting to "hang out" with Jeremy Renner of The Hurt Locker.
Grade: D- (cracked tooth)