And they're at the Sony Ericsson Open Kick-Off Party at LIV nightclub at Fontainebleau Miami! Kelly Bensimon! And the Williams sisters! And Mel B! And a lot of really gross clothes! So...yeah! Take that and...um...do stuff!

Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Seriously, though. Whenever I see shirts like this I wanna be like, "Okay. No one's arguing with you."


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Besides, we knew we were in Miami: we saw Maddy Ford's "shirt." I kid! I like Florida. And people wear these shirts wherever the end of shame is sold.


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Mel B, so un-scary.


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Kelly Bensimon seems to have lost a button. Whatevs. We're all friends here.


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

The one nice thing I can think of to say about Caroline Wozniacki's getup is that it kind of reminds me of in Meet Molly when they make ration-ready hula dancer Halloween costumes, and then Molly's brother sprays them with a hose to get them back for teasing him and then...yeah, I really can't think of anything else, so I'll stop.


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Venus Williams, looking ridiculously pretty and effortless, kind of saved this whole event for me.


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Sis, on the other hand, opted for the inexplicably having-a-moment "tumor chic."


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

Say what one will about Evelyn Lozada's outfit, she does display the all-white confidence promised by one of those tampon ads!


Nightclub Parties Make For Interesting Celebrity-Wardrobe Choices!

And you didn't think you were getting out of here without some skin-tight cheetah-print, did you? Agnieszka Radwanska has other plans for you.

[Images via Getty.]