Today's Ellen came near and dear to our hearts for many reasons: Pies, Betty White, a well-waxed stripper... And regarding that stripper, do note the expression on Betty's face, frozen in a sort of horrified joy. And that's not all!

In what could be a real blow to Team Cake, Ellen DeGeneres today engaged Pierce Brosnan on the topic of pie. He likes apple pie (our #1 seed!), and she wants to keep with that flakey-crusted feeling. And if you've got any doubts as to where Ellen (and her producers) stand, check out the day's "mystery word."

If we didn't know better, we'd think she was casting her vote for today's matchups. Maybe she is.

Related: All of Jezebel's March Madness Cake vs. Pie coverage