"I've fucked lesbians in Paris, hotel clerks on cots, and soldiers in uniform. All while I was married." — Just a snippet of the "Why Men Cheat" post on Esquire's website. Needless to say, much of it is problematic:
I love women. I love everything about a new woman: her smell, her armpits, her wrists. I have fucked large, ugly women and small, fragile ones.
If you "love" women, why do you cheat on your wife? Maybe because you don't actually "love" women. Not as living, breathing humans with emotions and depth. You "love" women the way a person can "love" an object. If you love bags, or chocolate, or music, you want to sample all kinds; buy, eat or listen as much as you can; immerse yourself. But this is not the same as loving a person; with love comes trust. And compassion.
There's also this:
…Men don't cheat because they can. Men cheat because they must, because they need to. This is the male struggle. Need compels us to try again. Because copulation is not in any way about fate. It is not about two individuals destined to meet on some dark night. It's about random collisions.
This is crap. You "need" to eat, breathe, sleep and be sheltered. When it comes to sex, no one "needs" to have it. The earth is fully populated, and monks everywhere can attest: Men's biological sexual "needs" can be overridden. We're not cavemen, we're civilized. Women get their periods at age 13, but we don't "need" to start having kids. If you "need" to cheat, it's not biological. It's psychological.
You learn things when you cheat. It is fun. There are a lot of laughs. You can be more elementally honest with a woman who has forty-five minutes than a woman with whom you'll spend forty-five years.
Perhaps, if you have trust and intimacy issues — which it sounds like you do!
Anyway, when it comes right down to it, Anon only has one wise thing to say:
"I know, believe me I know, that hell truly hath no fury like a woman scorned."
Why Men Cheat [Esquire]