You want killer anemones? Rogue hearts? Green monsters? Pervy roses? We got it all, kids:

Ambition is laudable. So props to both Zoe Saldana and Givenchy for attempting to combine three gowns into one!

If a troupe of child-dancers leap out of Jennifer Lopez's Armani Privé skirt, Mother Ginger-style, all will be made clear.

I will be reamed for this. Love the royal blue tribute, love the gardenia, but I just don't like the fit of Mo'nique's Tadashi Shoji in the bodice!

If the goal of Charlize Theron's John Galliano for Dior was to make it look like a perv was grabbing her breasts all night, then, well played, madam. Well played.

Hilary Swank: in general, if you're already doing this...

...this is not necessary.

I dug SJP's Chanel from the front, but she's just asking for 12-year-old boy snickers with the placement of that diamond bunch.

Virginia Madsen, driven by Kevan Hall, takes a detour to Frumpytown, where all the food is made with condensed soup.

There, she ran into Penelope Cruz. They talked wine. Specifically, the Donna Karan varietal.

Teen Wolf: no one forced you to come, y'know. It's the Oscars.

This goes double for Efron's hair.

Since she was doing the gray thing, maybe Deborah Ann Woll sought to stand out another way? The best-laid plans.

In the spirit of, "if you can't say anything nice," well, Samantha Harris will not be pinched come the 17th.

Kathryn Bigelow won big last night. She could care less if I hate her dress.

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