Before you leap into Lanvin, pop a Lithium. Because Alber Elbaz is moody — over what, I don't know, but his clothes are dark and brooding, perfect for any beautiful-but-tortured member of the Parisian elite.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

If this model could see through her bangs, she'd probably dig the sharp tailoring on her blazer.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

I love this — I don't think I've ever used the word "kicky" before, but this is LBD is kicky.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Why is this jacket reminding me of Johnny Depp? Anyone?

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Unlike a stumble on the runway, a stumble down these stairs would probably kill a girl. But if that happened, at least she would die wearing a hot skirt.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

You know what makes those stairs even more daunting? Ankle-snapping heels.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Aw, shit — it's Jumpsuit. Who invited Jumpsuit?

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Yes, please. Gloves, too. And the shoes. And...everything, really.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

If you're going to use fur, at least go with a creative shape. Well-played, sir.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

A little bland, but the cut suggests it might make your ass look great.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Another potentially ass-tastic dress, this time with a perfect ratio of skin revealing. I'm willing to overlook the voluminous-tricep sleeves.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

This is what we call the "downtown" look, if people downtown actually wore clothes this expensive. Also, the proliferation of these black goat-hair coats for fall makes me want to watch Gorillas in the Mist.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Now is the time on Sprockets when we dance!

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

What do you call the fluffy little things that dandelions turn into as they die? If I could figure out the word, I'd elaborate on how this look reminds me of that.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

Pretty, classic gown — wish it were in any other color, though.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

"Downplay your chained nipples with a feathered statement necklace!"

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

I'd rather see this whole ensemble in gold. The fan on that skirt deserves to sparkle.

Lanvin, For Those Dark And Stormy NightsS

I sincerely hope they played "Flight of the Valkyries" for this finale.

[Images via Getty.]