Today in Milan, the D&G show appealed to ladies who love Aspen, Vail, or Gstaad. And to ladies who love cozy knits. And to ladies who love sweaters with reindeer on them. And to ladies who love fur.

So… The bloomers in Free People were a harbinger of diaper-butt things to come. Nice sweater, though!

Alpine lace is not just a cheese.

Mixing wintry knit with springy floral. And dense with sheer.

I see London, I see France, I see your large "pussy" bow and blousy slevees, which make me think of Lily Tomlin in 9 To 5.

A tough leather jacket over a floaty frock — wrapped up with an extra-long muffler — is a charming, if highly impractical, fall ensemble.

Ladies and gentlemen. Fur. Shorts.



I would really like buy a récamier or fainting couch, and then find out the price of these shorts, and then swoon and collapse into a luxurious luxury stupor of WTF.

In case New York and London fashion shows didn't drive the point home, know this: This fall will be all about fur.

I think the little reindeer and snowflakes give the sweaters a homey, hand-made feel, even though it's likely that they're pricier than a trip to Banff.

Fur or no, belted coats: A must.

Ah, yes, the knit romper. Just a little something to wear while sipping hot chocolate by the fire.

The goggles, they do nothing?

Last year I feared what would happen if the anti-pants movement really took hold. The future is now! Bare a thigh or die!

I think this is what Shirley Temple wore to visit Grandfather in Heidi. Except with clogs.

Word to the wise: Don't forget to pack something for evening when you leave for Whistler.

So there's this scene in Who's That Girl — the seminal film starring Madonna and Griffin Dunne, son of Dominick, where Madonna, playing a thief named Nikki, is pretending to be the sister of Dunne's character, blue-bood Loudon Trott.



A snooty jewelry store clerk says: Sister? I wasn't aware Mr. Trott had a sister.

Nikki: Been away a few years.

Jeweler: Boarding school?

Nikki: Board school, right.

Jeweler: Switzerland?

Nikki: Excuse me?

Jeweler: I said, was the school Swiss?

Nikki: Sure. Sure, one of the Swissest.

This is a Swissest Boarding School outfit.

I want to write something about how, in old movies about the future, the men and women dress alike in one-piece uniforms as they travel through space and whatnot, and how if "cooldown" were an Olympic sport then this could be the uniform, but all I really have is: LOL.

What if you have to pee?

Perfect for those elegant igloo parties you're always being invited to.

Can't lie: Love this one.

"Ah oui, j'adore Chamonix-Mont-Blanc."

Nordic track.

Whisper-soft gowns grounded by bow ties and furry boots.

I had to include this, because I was wondering what the bloomers looked like from the rear. Here is the answer. Also: A zipper in the crack? Sounds… dangerous. And cold.

If those are long johns, I'm on board.



[Images via Getty.]