Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which Margaret and I read In Touch, Star, Us, Ok! and Life & Style, searching for "news." This week we found surreal, comedic entertainment: Forensic illustrations of the Jolie-Pitt kids in the year 2020!
"Betrayed By John."
First: Jessica Simpson was pissed off at John Mayer's Playboy interview, and told someone: "I'm annoyed John would sink so low." A source says she's dying to confront him about it, but wants to get her thoughts together. For now, she's venting to friends about how pissed she is. She called her sister, Ashlee Simpson-Wentz, who said something like, look on the bright side — at least he didn't say you were bad in bed. Next: Ryan Gosling is dating Michelle Williams, according to a source, and they've been seeing each other for a couple of months. Since they're costarring in the movie Blue Valentine, it could be that they're seeing each other on the set — as coworkers. Finally: Katy Perry is pictured leaving the gym wearing an oversized T-shirt and the mag has an arrow pointing to her abdomen with the word "Bump?" (see image 7) Apparently last month she Tweeted that she wasn't pregnant and wrote, "better luck next month, peepz." The mag notes: "FYI: it's next month."
Grade: F (medical diagram)