Britney's Super-Sized Valentine's Day; Madonna's Cool Carnival

  • Britney and her boyfriend/agent Jason Trawick went to a McDonald's drive through on Valentine's Day, not that there's anything wrong with that.

I'd take a number 2 value meal and a shake right now. [ONTD]

  • Mary-Kate Olsen was asked not once but twice to put out her cigarette while partying at NYC club Marquee. Michelle Tanner, Uncle Jesse is going to have to sit you down and talk to you. [NYDN]
  • Production on 24 had to be suspended last week when Kiefer Sutherland suffered a ruptured cyst. He will need "minor" surgery but should be back at work later this week. [E!, LA Times]
  • Oh, God. This is a real headline: "Kate Gosselin Called Ex Jon's Penis 'Stubby.'" [Us Magazine]
  • The Brittany Murphy Foundation has issued a statement in which the organizers (Murphy's husband and mother) admit that they have not yet done the paperwork for non-profit status, and will be returning all donations. [TMZ]
  • Paris Hilton: In Rio for Carnival. These pictures show her possibly drunk, definitely ridiculous. [ONTD]
  • Madonna was also in Rio for Carnival, and as you can see in these pix, she was hanging out with daughters Lourdes and Mercy and manfriend Jesus Luz. I think I also see Guy Oseary and Gogol Bordello's Eugene Hutz. But the best part is how bored/unimpressed little Mercy is by the entire affair. [Daily Mail]
  • "The director of Madonna's Raising Malawi foundation is denying that there is a land dispute over the charity's planned $15 million girls academy, calling reports that some villagers feel the project is displacing them 'erroneous.'" [AP]
  • By the by, Her Madgesty will direct W.E., a film about the affair between King Edward VIII and Wallis Simpson. [Variety]
  • All you need to know about Alec and Ireland Baldwin's 911 "misunderstanding" is right here. [Access Hollywood, ET, People]
  • Reinforcing the idea that a woman should be picked apart and judged, Heidi Montag was asked what she likes most about her "new" body. Sayeth she: "My favorite part, I think one of them is my chin. I think that's what I was so excited about… And I love my boobs but I still want to improve. I didn't get them as big as I originally wanted." Spencer Pratt was asked the same question, and he likes something the surgeon didn't work on: Her hair. "It keeps growing so beautifully and naturally," he says. (What does he mean by "naturally"?) [People]
  • Will Blake Lively pose for Playboy? My intuition says: No. [ONTD via PopCrunch]
  • "Swiss Official Says Roman Polanski Extradition Proceedings On Indefinite Hold." [LA Times]
  • Interior designer Killian O'Brien is suing Anderson Cooper, claiming she fell 17 feet through a hole that once held a fire pole in the former firehouse Cooper is converting into a home. The hole/pole jokes write themselves. [AP]
  • Behold: Megan Fox and her SexyFace, on the over of W. [ONTD]
  • This column asks if "Russ-Kat" — that is, Russell Brand and Katy Perry's relationship — is for real. A commenter notes, "He's an idiot and she's something of an idiot herself." [NY Post]
  • Shakira had dinner with Rafael Nadal after shooting a video together, so now, naturally, the buzz is that there's something going on, even though they both have significant others. [Page Six]
  • Just 22 months after she got £24 million from her divorce from Paul McCartney, Heather Mills says she has spent all the money. "Most of it's been given to charity, gone into ethical businesses or paid for a couple of properties for my daughter's future security." [Mirror]
  • Gérard Depardieu is playing Three Musketeers and Count Of Monte Cristo author Alexandre Dumas in a new film, which has some people upset, since Dumas was, what today we would call, black. His grandfather was a former Haitian slave and his father was referred to as a Caribbean "negro." As you can see in the photo at the link, Depardieu is playing the role with a curly wig and slightly bronzed skin. [Times Of London]
  • The Tiger Woods sex tape exists, but let's hope it doesn't come out. [Radar Online]
  • Here, a porn star claims she had unprotected sex with Tiger Woods and got pregnant twice. One pregnancy ended in miscarriage, and the other abortion. [Radar Online]
  • Elin Nordegren went out with a group of friends on Saturday night and left Tiger at home with the kids. [Radar Online]
  • "No Contact Between Tiger Woods And Wife On Valentine's Day." [Radar Online]
  • Kathryn Bigelow will direct a pilot for HBO! [Reuters]
  • Tila Tequila hit her head and suffered a concussion and Tweeted that she might die like Natasha Richardson. Then her assistant Tweeted that she was in the hospital and wouldn't be on Twitter for a while. Tila has been posting messages on her Twitter nonstop, though, and now claims she will be adopting a baby from Kazakhstan, "just like Casey's Daughter." [Us Magazine, Twitter, TMZ]
  • Michael Lohan and Kate Major: Moving to LA together, and hoping to turn the cross-country trip into a reality show. "We're calling the show Crossing Borders, because not only will we be crossing physical borders as we go state to state, but moral borders as well." Looking forward to ignoring it! [Radar Online]
  • Did you watch Family Guy last night? Apparently the episode sorta made fun of Sarah Palin's son with Down syndrome. [NYDN]
  • Mena Suvari wore her hair up to a show at Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week in New York, showing off her tattoo, which she's had for years, yet this paper trumpets that she "dropped her all-American Beauty image once and for all." [Daily Mail]
  • Road trip! Jersey Shore's Pauly D is spinning in Boston this summer. [TMZ]
  • What does Jersey Shore's J-Woww have to do with a Nassau County Police Department internal investigation? [TMZ]
  • The "naked" pictures ofJersey Shore's Snooki on a site called nakedsnooki.com seem to be pictures of Snickers wearing lingerie. The site claims to have actual nudes for sale. [Radar Online]
  • Despite Avatar's success, seems like Michelle Rodriguez didn't get invited to the Oscars. But she says it's "for the guys who put most time into the project" anyway, and that she'll celebrate afterward: "at all the parties I'll be there to hug them and support!" [Mirror]
  • British school officials are in talks with Goldie Hawn's charity, which sets up schools that promote Buddhist values. [BBC News]
  • Someone who knows Liz Lee from that MTV show My Life As Liz writes: "Liz Lee truly is a lying, manipulative drug addict who will do anything in the moment for attention and popularity." This person claims the show is fake, she was never an outcast, and she's totally spoiled. [ONTD]
  • 15-year-old Justin Bieber has a crush on Beyoncé, if you care. [Us Magazine]
  • The White Power Ranger wants to fight Jean-Claude Van Damme. [TMZ]
  • Joe Francis no longer owes the IRS $33 million. [TMZ]
  • Valentine's Day was number one, making $52.4 million dollars this weekend. Congrats to script with a character named "petite round chola" who said, "I was hot like jalapena, sexing him up whenever he wanted." [AP]
  • RIP Doug Fieger, lead singer of the Knack. Watch that "My Sharona" clip from Reality Bites at the link. [EW]
  • "I keep getting people coming up to me speaking in strange languages. It is wonderful how people have embraced this character." — Inglourious Basterds' Christoph Waltz. [Page Six]
  • "I wrote this at a very dark time in my life. A lot of bad things had happened — death, divorce, moving across the country — so I was kind of down the rabbit hole myself at the time. I got an image of [Alice] standing at a very crucial moment in her life, looking over and seeing this rabbit leaning against the tree, looking at her, knowing she had to put a pin in this crucial decision and follow this rabbit, because that was her destiny." — Screenwriter Linda Woolverton, on Alice In Wonderland. [Telegraph]
  • "Alice in Wonderland — if you're not walking on a tightrope, juggling super-sharp knives, there's really no reason to do it. Because if you're not willing to get into the same arena or take the same chances as Charles Dodgson did, what's the point? Tim is that guy who will get up on that high wire and juggle double-edged daggers to amaze and astound us all. He couldn't have bitten off anything bigger to chew. This is almost lunatic time. To choose to grab Alice in Wonderland, that in itself is one thing, and then to do it to the Tim Burton level is madness. It's so huge because, whether it's the CGI or the green screen or the 3D or the live action, he's done it all here. It's the greatest undertaking I've heard of." — Johnny Depp. [Telegraph]
  • "What we do, it's extravagant, it's extraordinary. ... I don't call it a normal life but we are normal people. For people to see we live as normal as possible ... makes my singing even more true and it gives me an extra bond with my fans." — Celine Dion, on her movie, Celine: Through the Eyes of the World. [AP]
  • "It's already a huge honor to be nominated but I don't think I need to think about a speech at all, I'm just excited to be nominated." — Precious star Gabourey Sidibe, on the Academy Awards. [Mirror]
  • "Our generation is definitely all about the texting and the e-mailing and the BBM-ing and the IM-ing; it's endless. I think a lot of things get misconstrued, because tone of voice is so important. There should be a sarcasm font… because I'll make a sarcastic comment and the other person thinks I'm being rude when I'm not." — Emma Roberts, 19. [LA Times]
  • "I think a man's job — especially within a family — is to balance more than lead. There's a cheesy bumper sticker that says, 'If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy.' And the fact of the matter is women are more complex than men. We're simpler as far as what makes us happy, what we need out of life… I think one of the greatest things a man can do is to be a faithful, honest man. It's not easy. Not that I desire anyone else. My father made mistakes in the fidelity department. He has passed away and I don't mean to disgrace his name in any way, but we're all pretty honest, my family. And I think it's really important for a man to not make the same mistakes that their parent has made. My mother and father stayed married for most of their lives, and they separated when I was 19, but on his deathbed, my father said, 'Your mother was the love of my life, and I really wish I would have worked harder at that.'" — David Arquette. [LA Times]
  • "That kid is unstoppable. She's very confident and funny. She's so dramatic already. She laughs hard. She pouts hard. She cries hard. She loves hard. If she can't find something it's the end of the world. It would be no surprise to me if she went into acting. I'd be cool with that, otherwise I'd be a hypocrite but I hope she doesn't jump into it too soon." — Courteney Cox on daughter Coco. [Daily Express]
  • "I have no ambitions beyond being comfortable in what I do for a living — and earning a living. We have no promotion, we've got no money — it's the cheapest budget of any of the late-night shows — probably Carson Daly's too. We get nothing. But we do have a huge advantage in that they let us do what we want." — Craig Ferguson. [LA Times]
  • "The theater was predominant in terms of acting… but then came people like James Dean and a different cinema acting technique that was just revolutionary because it was about behavior — Montgomery Clift, Brando. Those three changed cinema all over the world. You see [James Dean] and you think, 'Oh…my…God.' Wow. And I never really appreciated what he did until I did my first on-camera stuff, and how you had to repeat everything and hit marks and have the camera move with you. I was smoking Camels or something, but James Dean smoked Kools. I had to switch." — Martin Sheen reminisces. He was a in a play called The Subject Was Roses on Broadway in 1964. Now he's in it again, playing the dad role. [LA Times]
  • "It's great to be able to stay at home and raise your children. Unfortunately, that was not my reality. I had to be a working mother when my kids were little. I was divorced and single and I couldn't afford not to work. So when I say they don't work, it's not to cut them down. It's me just saying, 'You don't understand. I have to go to my office and I can't leave to do a booty class at 2 o'clock in the afternoon; I can't do a cooking party.' When I say that, it's not to hurt them. It's just to have them understand. If they don't work, they don't work. It's not to hurt them." — Real Housewives Of Orange County castmember Vicki Gunvalson. [LA Times]
  • "I love to hate Pete. He's very transparent about what his problems are. Vincent Kartheiser is a great actor.… [For the Charleston scene] We took lessons for about a month, a couple of times a week. It was such a blast. They called me before I'd read the episode and they said, ‘You need to start taking Charleston lessons.' Then when I read the episode it seemed so funny, so something Pete and Trudy would do, in an almost a competitive way. Like look what we can do! Together! Better than you! It's such a cute moment for them." — Mad Men's Alison Brie, who also plays Annie Edison on Community. [WSJ]
  • "My daughter's the most important thing to me, in my life. I'm having my Demeter and Persephone moment with my daughter." — Courtney Love. [Mirror]
  • "I have a tremendous relationship with the gay community. When people find out I'm doing this, they say, 'Is it because of your relationship with the gay community, because you want to speak out about AIDS?' And I say no. AIDS is not a gay disease. That's part of what I want to accomplish ... really raise awareness of what AIDS is today." — Lady Gaga, on her MAC Cosmetics Viva Glam campaign. [USA Today]