In Touch
"How Jen Split Them."
This story was so inconsistent. The mag claims that Jennifer Aniston "came between" Brad and Angie, but then calls on that Waldorf-Astoria housekeeper, Anna Kowalski, who says of Brad and Angie: "I didn't even think they were pretending to be together. From what I have seen, they sleep in separate rooms, and behave like friends, not lovers." Or maybe they're not into making out in front of the housekeeper? Still, the mag claims that Brad and Jen "stole a few minutes together backstage" at the Hope For Haiti telethon. And then there's this: (Color commentary from us in bold)
After the show, the pair met up again, parking their cars next to each other in a secluded spot (LOL) — and having a heart-to-heart conversation during which their true feelings (LOL) emerged. "Brad went into Jen's car, and it was very romantic," hints a friend of Jennifer's, adding that the pair spent around 30 minutes "wrapped in each others' arms." After a brief stroll (in the parking lot?), Brad then escorted Jen back to her car and hugged her goodbye."
On the next page, there's a picture of Jen on a park bench, a picture of Brad on a different park bench, a picture of a random SUV and a picture of Shiloh and Zahara (see image 8), with a cockamamie story about how Jen met Brad and Shiloh one day in March in Central Perk Park — a landmark which hosts approximately twenty-five million visitors each year, and somehow we're JUST finding out about this. Also inside: Britney Spears has "less money, more problems." The captions on this picture (see image 9) of Brit coming from the gym are plain rude: "After working out at the gym, Britney didn't change her shirt." THE HORROR. The mag also says she looks "like a bum." Nice. Tom and Katie have reportedly spent about $3.2 million on clothes for Suri Cruise since her birth in 2006. For instance: Her pink ruffled dress was $1,130; her red ballet slippers were $128. Her polka dot heels were a bargain at $40. Next, Bradley Cooper is planning on proposing to Renee Zellweger, maybe on Valentine's Day — he was seen in a jewelry store! Relationship expert Jill Spiegel, who does not know these people, says since they both split from their spouses in less than six months "they could be repeating the same patterns… They could burn out fast."
Grade: D (Van Dyke)
