Snookie & Co. Declare Themselves The New "Friends"; Gwyneth Paltrow Doesn't Feed The TreeS

  • "When we try to go to TGI Friday's or Applebee's, we can't eat because people go crazy." It has gotten so Snookie has taken to trying to conceal her identity behind sunglasses, even at night. [Page Six]
  • Sean Penn still cares about black people, does not appear to have brought his entourage to Haiti. [Breitbart]
  • "They said the trees were diseased but you can say anything when you have that amount of money. They are using their power and riches to get what they want." See, and that is the difference between celebrities who go to Haiti benefit concerts dressed in preposterous laser-cut T-shirts like it is still 2006 or something, and celebrities who actually go to Haiti. [Daily Mail]
  • There's a profile of the kid from Atonement and The Lovely Bones, who is just fucking darling, although at 15 her life story already has already fulfilled more "Irish Stereotypes" than Let The Great World Spin and most Pogues songs. [Guardian]
  • Tory Burch! Now THERE are two words I must admit I have not contemplated for two years now. What's she doing (besides plutocrats) these days, I wonder? Doing her part to divert small bits of TARP money to Haiti? Posting her bra color on Facebook for breast cancer awareness? Nah. [Page Six]
  • Drew Barrymore would totally get carded for cigarettes from the looks of her paparazzi shots these days, and I'm saying that's even at my corner bodega. Do you think maybe that has something to do with not smoking them? Yeah, me neither it is so definitely surgery. [NY Daily News]
  • "He's a tough kid. Still, he's in a federal prison, and you've got some big, bad boys down there." So, Michael Douglas's son recently got busted for being some sort of meth trafficker, and fittingly enough as one of the mushrooming ranks of Boomer parents with offspring in early "retirement" he has chosen AARP The Magazine as the magazine with which to open up about it. [AARP]
  • BREAKING: Andy Dick…sigh. [WSAZ]
  • So has anyone else noticed how "Tiger Woods" is its own category of news on the New York Daily News' website? Right there on the homepage alongside such topics as "National" and "World" and "Decade In Review." Needless to say I am unforgivably behind on this section, but like him I blame the whole thing on being raised with a military father and an Asian mom.
  • Whitney Port: showing subtle Jersey Shore influences w/r/t swimwear choice? Or just typical bad judgment? [NY Daily News]