Heidi's Near-Death Experience; The Jolie-Pitts' Secret CaveS

  • Heidi Montag told Access Hollywood's Billy Bush: "I almost died after my [plastic surgery] procedure. I had too much Demerol like Michael Jackson did… my breathing was five breaths per minute, which is like almost dead." HOWEVER. Her surgeon says:

"That didn't happen as far as I know." Dr. Frank Ryan also denies that Heidi needed oxygen and it had some kind of an emergency. As for Heidi, she also told Billy: "I appreciate the science behind [cosmetic surgery]. We're so advanced. If Cleopatra were alive now, I'm sure she'd have triple Ds." Honey, just because YOU are completely fake doesn't mean EVERYONE wants to be. There is no evidence Cleopatra wanted bigger breasts. There is evidence that she married her brother. Also, leave her out of this; you are not an Egyptian pharoah. [Access Hollywood]

  • Heidi Montag's album has sold fewer than 1,000 copies; industry sources say there have only been 658 downloads. Maybe because anywhere you go, you can hear bullshit for free? [Us Magazine]
  • Brad Pitt is expanding his estate in Los Feliz, and his house has a secret cave. Now we know where Maddox, Pax, Shiloh, Zahara, Knox and Viv will be sent when they're being bad! [Gatecrasher]
  • A reporter here says a "source" tells him that Britney Spears has been impersonating Stewie from Family Guy while staying at the Mondrian hotel in L.A. — even though she lives in L.A. — and that she loves getting waited on, using the gym and the babysitting service. Could the "source" be Life & Style magazine? Because we read that same story yesterday. [The Sun]
  • This reporter says a "source" tells him that Tiger Woods is getting preferential treatment at the rehab clinic and skipping therapy and stuff. Which is what we read in Star yesterday. [The Sun]
  • Elin Nordegren won't take Tiger Woods' calls. I like her style. [MSNBC via In Touch]
  • Conan O'Brien has booked his last guests on what will be his last show tomorrow: Tom Hanks and Will Ferrell. [MSNBC Scoop]
  • It's official: Conan and NBC have signed a deal. [The Wrap]
  • Conan's deal is worth about $44 million ; he gets $32 and his staff gets $12M in severance. [AP]
  • Meet Mike Mitchell, designer of the "I'm With Coco" campaign. [People]
  • Ben Affleck is "begging" Jennifer Garner to get pregnant one more time because he wants a son. Jen told Us Weekly: "Ben would like a boy, but I don't want another baby right now." [Daily Express]
  • Weird and uncomfortable: An Italian TV host put on yellow rubber gloves and tried to grab David Beckham's balls as he was walking down the street doing a TV interview; apparently she was doing "research" to find out of his junk was enhanced in his Armani underwear ads. [Daily Mail]
  • David Beckham launched a line of clothing for Adidas in Milan yesterday. [CBS News]
  • Brittany Murphy's husband says that the late actress had "laryngitis and flu-like symptoms" at the time of her sudden death, and that most of the prescription medications found in their house were his own. [People]
  • Diddy is throwing a party for his 16-year-old son, Justin, which will be filmed for MTV's My Super Sweet 16. What to expect: Guests like Snoop Dogg, Lil' Kim, and maybe Jay-Z and Beyoncé. Chris Brown may perform, and instead of gifts, guests will be asked to make a donation to the Haiti fund. [Page Six]
  • Prince William visited Australia, and loved it. [The Sun]
  • Scott Baio Tweeted this picture of Michelle Obama with the words, "WOW He wakes up to this every morning," and got death threats. Afterward he Tweeted: "PLEASE NOTE: The FBI has been contacted & we have a file number for the threats, along with twitter support. Thx." And: "Funny thing is I've jumped to almost 5000 because ppl like to hate. You'd think they wouldn't follow. I block'em & play golf." [Us Magazine]
  • Kate Major is talking about Jon Gosselin in an "exclusive" video at the link, which I refuse to watch because I am so over them. Apparently she tells Jon to "man up" and box Michael Lohan. Eyeroll. [Radar Online]
  • Michael Lohan adopted a dog for girlfriend Kate Major, but after the pooch tore up their place, Lohan dropped the dog off at the vet for heartworm treatment and never came back. The animal was adopted by another family. TMZ says: "When you think about it ... that dog really dodged a bullet." [TMZ]
  • OMFG Billy Baldwin on Gossip Girl?!?! Love it. Spolier alert: He'll be playing Blake Lively's dad. I mean Serena van der Woodsen. [Page Six]
  • Charlie Sheen got permission from a judge to visit and speak with his wife, Brooke Mueller, who is in the hospital with a high fever and suspected pneumonia. [Reuters]
  • Tara Reid is engaged. [E!]
  • BREAKING: Sandra Bullock's life is "Fab After 40!" [People]
  • Jon Cryer told the FBI that he believes his ex-wife hired a hitman to kill him; the FBI has been on the case for a week and have no suspects. [TMZ]
  • The victim in the Roman Polanski case, like Polanski, would like for a judge to sentence the director in absentia. [AP]
  • Flavor Flav was in a car crash in Las Vegas last night, but neither he nor his giant clock were injured. [TMZ]
  • RIP Jennifer Lyon, Survivor contestant in 2005, who has died of breast cancer at age 37. [AP]
  • "My daughter said a wonderful thing to me — 'Mum, you have just found a different way of using your voice.'" — Julie Andrews, on her success writing children's books. [LA Times]
  • "I can't be an angel. Ask my wife." — Paul Bettany, star of Legion. He also says: "I can't interview an angel and say, ‘What's it like?' So I went to museums. What I noticed about angels, often they have swords and spears, and they're ripped." [LA Times]
  • "The sports world should be ashamed of itself. It's full of all these macho men and strong women who go out and dedicate their lives… 'They're absolutely admirable people in many senses — but when it comes to the business of simply being honest about who they are, some of them become little shrinking violets because they're afraid, probably, of being booed from the terraces, and that must be a horrible experience and shame on people who do it. 'But it ain't going to stop someone being a fantastic footballer because they're honest about their private lives, is it? I don't believe so and the world is changing and sport, I'm afraid, is very slow to catch up.'' — Sir Ian McKellan, shortly after Welsh rugby star Gareth Thomas revealed that he is gay, but kept it hidden for many years. [Telegraph]
  • "I saw Jen at the Globes, and Sandra [Bullock], too. A lot of my exes were in attendance! It's been 150 years… If you can't bury a hatchet in that amount of time, then that's pretty bad." — Jennifer Aniston's ex, Tate Donovan, is over his former flames. [Gatecrasher]
  • "For me, it's not about performance. It's about storytelling… Once I get a clear idea of what I want to accomplish, then acting is just dressing up and playing. I don't feel as useful any place as I do on a movie set… I'm very surprised and delighted at the luck I've had. I've been enormously lucky. I've had a long run. And now I have a chance to play old guys." — Harrison Ford. [AP]