Although Joan Rivers has signed on to host E!'s Fashion Police, she's not allowed on the actual red carpet, so we'll have to sit back pray that correspondents Jay Manuel or Ryan Seacrest say something bitchy during their live coverage.
FYI ladies: Make sure to also check the main page, early and often: We're putting up red carpet photos plus coverage of the other GG preshows.
8:01 Dear Ryan, This camera angle isn't making you look taller.
7:58 Giuliana Rancic is giving me second-hand embarrassment!
7:53 Christina Hendricks is awesome! She said that celebs are whacky because they forget to eat.
7:48 Tracy Morgan has the best Glam Cam pose, by far.
7:43 Roger Ebert is Tweeting while watching the red carpet. He's funny.
7:38 Why is Heidi Klum holding her butt?
7:34 I can't tell if Taylor Lautner's tux has an intentional wet look, or if he's actually wet from the rain. I hope it's the latter.
7:31 Jennifer Garner is looking very, very thin. Note: She is a Rachel Zoe client.
7:21 #1, I will most definitely get "a little bit" [snap, shrug] "difficult" on Mariah's signature champagne. #2 Boobs.
7:18 Oooh! Mimi!!!! Clip to come, obvs. 7:11 For real, Giuliana Rancic needs to shut up about dieting and working out and bodies and shit. It's a total Slanket and Doritos and no brarawn buzzkill 7:10 I think Tina Fey's dress will prove to be polarizing, but I'm into it.
7:04 I compulsively say "That's what she said" whenever Steve Carell talks. 7:02 Does Anna Paquin remind anyone else of Sandra Bernhard? 6:59 Did Vera Farmiga just make a gay joke to Seacrest?
6:56 I'm glad Tarantino's bolo-tie-meets-cummerbun was addressed.
6:48 Whoa, Patricia Arquette. Tits ahoy. 6:45 How has Quentin Tarantino not had a coke crash yet? I guess his mania is actually natural, because he should've already had a downward spiral, a career lapse, only to be reinstated by an acting role in a movie directed by, well, him. 6:43: Adrian Grenier is like a young Ray Liotta with better skin. Right? 6:32 Sister wives! God, Jeanne Tripplehorn is stunning. I hadn't realized how much of a character choice her look on Big Love was.
6:30 Ha! Mickey Rourke gave Seacrest a wedgie. Perfect! 6:22 Ricky Gervais is being interviewed now. At least he's not tardy for the party. The only other people who've talked to E! so far are from House and Glee. No movie stars. 6:20 OK, it's official: There's a Haiti "cause" ribbon.
6:14 Although the circumstances surrounding it are obviously devastating and unfortunate, I have to say that I really enjoy the awkwardness of celebrity telethons. 6:08 It's raining, it's pouring, this is really boring. 6:01 Every time I see Jay Manuel, all I can think about are those plastic Ken Doll heads in Living Colour's "Glamour Boys" video.