Welcome back to Midweek Madness, in which we forage for gossip in the tabloids' garbage. This week: Elin "eats her way through the pain," John Mayer hits on Taylor Swift, and the Jersey Shore kids film themselves "pounding it out."
"HOW I LOST 15 LBS"
Here's Kim Kardashian's "secret": she spends at least an hour a day at the gym, cuts back on sugar, and takes the weight-loss supplement QuickTrim, which she's been shilling for months. The bigger story here is that Kim gave OK! an exclusive. With its bi-weekly Kardashian covers, we were under the impression that the family had sold their souls to Life & Style (well, whatever portion doesn't already belong to E!). Moving on: Britney Spears and Jason Trawick are on the rocks. Brit's parents keep fighting and Brit, who's back on Team Lynne, is upset because Jason defended Jamie. Jason is also jealous of Brit's bodyguard Edan Yemini. Or that's his job. A friend says he's "been with her for more than a year, accompanying her to every city and country. We think he's in love with her." Brit and Jason spent New Year's apart and she dyed her hair black. "Every time Brit has a crisis, her hair undergoes and extreme makeover," says the mag. Next: For New Year's Eve Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart had a romantic getaway on the Isle of Wight. Then they went back to London and Rob introduced Kristen to some of his friends from school. "Kristen almost feels like a British native now," says a source. Did John Mayer break up Taylor Squared? Probably not, but John Mayer asked Taylor Swift to sing on his single "Half of My Heart" and a "pal" says he has a crush on her. In a daring move, Swift rejected Mayer's advances, but Taylor Lautner is still "devastated." Finally, did you know that it's possible to not pouf Snooki's hair (image 7)? OK! gave Snooki yet another makeover and the editors seemed shocked by her Kardashian-esque hairstyle. Did they think she was born with a pouf-shaped head?
Grade: F (Gum stuck in your pouf.)