Maybe we should call this post the worst Cover Lies, as the most egregiously mendacious covers are often the most fun to mock. Regardless, here's a little tour of what some of the glossies were really saying in 2009.
Looking at a whole bunch of old Cover Lies is a great way to remind yourself that ladymags just recycle the same old weight-loss, man-snagging, and faux-self-improvement tropes again and again and again. In February Cosmo, for instance, we saw the Simple Way To Revolutionize Your Life. Yes, ladies, it's breathing. Millions of women have died because they ignored this basic tip.