Every Wednesday, we read the tabloids so you don't have to. This week, Angie's pregnant (again), Jen takes a break from pining for Brad to host a chili cook-off, and we learn how to achieve an unhealthy glow Jersey Shore-style.
Did a double issue last week so the editors could spend the holidays rereading the Twilight books, or ahem, doing some "reporting" on Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.
Grade: Excused for religious holiday (Keeping the "Christ" in Christmas.)
Everyone at Us must have had visions of sugar plums dancing in their heads all week because the only new information in this story about Elin Nordegren divorcing Tiger Woods is this dud of a quote from her twin sister Josefin Nordegren: "It's been difficult because it's not something we can deal with in private... But we are doing our best." Snore. In other news, Angelina Jolie gave Jennifer Aniston a break this week and agreed to be the one who's "so lonely." Angie's sad because she has no mommy friends, but for some reason the source phrased that as "Angelina is hungry for normal moms to be around," which makes it sound like she's a mom-brain craving zombie. In "Better Without Makeup?" (image 6), we learn that 66 percent of Us readers think Lady Gaga is beautiful just the way she is. The same can not be said for Kim Kardashian. Finally, Us calls out the other tabloids for their bogus covers in "Fake News of the Year" (image 7). Too bad we already beat them to it.
Grade: F (All he wants for Christmas is his mistress.)