It isn't hard to identify an American beauty pageant. Our airwaves are filled with shows about child beauty queens, fallen pageant stars and elite pageant coaches. But what does a beauty pageant look like in France? Let's find out.
In all honesty, the Miss France pageant looks exactly like the Miss USA pageant, which should come as no surprise, I guess, as both pageants fall under Donald Trump's Miss Universe banner, and with Donald Trump involved, countries all across the world step it up to produce a stage that looks like a cross between the AggroCrag from Guts and the set of Deal or No Deal.
Naturally, there is a swimsuit portion of the pageant, wherein women all wear the same suit and try to act like they always hit the beach in a pair of silver heels.
Apparently, it was quite the rage at the Miss France pageant this year to wear nautical caps and futuristic surgical gloves.
Elaborate and often cringe-worthy theme numbers are pretty standard at any pageant, and it looks like Casino Night was the theme this year.
I think someone actually wore this dress to my prom in 1998, during the height of the swing-revival era.
I don't really know what's going on here. I'm pretty sure that's Grace Kelly, though it looks like someone else's face has been superimposed over hers. Whomever it is, she does not seem very amused with her position as Big Brother for Miss France 2k10.
It is absolutely necessary for a pageant to have a musical guest that sings sassy songs your mom can enjoy, a la Tom Jones. As you can see, Robbie Williams stepped in to play the part here.
The woman on the left is Geneviève de Fontenay, the President of the Miss France committee. She had the best outfit of the evening. Marvelous!
This year's winner is Malika Ménard, Miss Normandy, a 22 year old woman who is currently studying law. This picture also includes Pageant cliche #983: the outgoing queen hands over the crown.
Pageant cliche #1567: The runner-up acts sooooo happy for the winner.
Pageant cliche #445: "I'm crying but I'm not really crying because it took like 3 hours to get my makeup right, but I'll act like I'm brushing invisible tears away just to let you all know how emotional this moment is for me."
And lastly, Pageant Cliche #1: the triumphant walk of victory. I suppose when it comes to beauty pageants, some things, if not most things, are universal.