The latest "not-Project-Runway", Bravo's Launch My Line, features "pop culture notables" working with pros to launch fashion lines. And judging by the duds at the premiere party at NYC's Avenue, it'll either be a total trainwreck, or a partial trainwreck.
It's like Molly Sims is a secret agent and they haven't really figured out how to get spy devices and hidden cameras small enough, so she has to wear this "necklace" on her missions.
Contestant Galina Sobolev is respecting an etiquette rule that's inscrutable to the rest of the world.
If this sneer - and sequined Snuggie - are typical of contestant Vanessa Gonzales, we're in for...well, sneering. And sequins.
Meanwhile, contestant Merle Ginsberg is a shoo-in for the "Anna Wintour Gratuitous Fur" award.
First: this show is about launching fashion lines, right? Okay, I'm starting to get excited. Because, let's face facts: contestant Kathy Rose is wearing what appears to be a velveteen body suit, a Glinda skirt, and...an enormous whale necklace. Excellent.
Tinsley Mortimer: the deconstructed bandage.
See, the fact that everyone is doing a sneery side-eye like contestant Susan Brunet makes it impossible to tell who's the villain! Does all this winter white mean "good" or "White Witch" evil?
Is contestant Louanna Rawls deliberately and bravely working a difficult length, or is it just...a difficult length?
And then we have...contestant Patrick McDonald. Yeah, I'll be watching the premiere.
[Images via Getty]