Before their Today show appearance this morning, the White House crashers were supposed to appear on last night's Larry King... but they backed out and sent friends instead. The most ridiculous of these pals: Matthew Christian Davis. Let's meet him!

As you can see in the clip above, these are the "arguments" Matthew Christian Davis makes "in defense" of the Salahis:

1. They were invited because they were in Davis's weird book:

Davis plugs his book right out of the gate, mentioning the completely irrelevant fact that the Salahis were featured in three sections of his book, Best of D.C., including a section called "Divas in Charge." (It should be noted that this book is one of those vanity/scam operations, a la Who's Who of American High School Students, in which overpriced books are created only to be sold back to the extremely naive and self-obsessed people "chosen" to be featured in them.)

2. They were invited because this was The White House:

When King interrupts Davis's book commercial to ask him, really, did he think the Salahi's crashed, he stumbles over his words: "This is not a nightclub or a private party at a luxury...country...ranch."

3. They were invited because Matthew Christian Davis witnessed the Rwandan genocide:

Davis then just starts rambling about his own credentials, claiming he comes from three generations of law enforcement and then, incomprehensibly, atrocity-drops: "I've been in such places as Rwanda during the genocide in 1994."

Huh? Anyway, what we can learn from this — and from their wooden, propped-up Today Show appearance, is that the Salahis are probably not malicious, but just completely and utterly clueless. And vain. And in need of some real friends. Basically, they're socialites!

Larry King Live: Friends Of Salahis [CNN]