Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt attended a 30th Anniversary Gala at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles last night, which means we'll probably be seeing some of these pictures alongside ridiculous Brangelina headlines sometime soon. Let's start now!
ART IS TEARING THEM APART!!111!: "Angelina is always all, 'I like art,'" says a source who owns every season of Friends on DVD. "It totally bums Brad out. You'll notice that he's pulling away from her. That's because she stinks of art appreciation! And also because he never stopped loving Jen."
YIPES, STRIPES: BRAD CAN'T STOP MISSING JEN: "The stripes in this picture reminded Brad of Jen's highlights circa 2001," says some guy who watched a Brad Pitt movie once, "He misses having a mate who understands the importance of matching hair. Gwyneth and Jen were happy to go along with it, but Angelina refuses to grow a beard. It's no wonder he's about to leave her and whisk Jen away to the salon to relive old times."
JEN'S BROKEN HEART IS ANGIE'S FAVORITE ART: "This painting represents the inside of Jen's heart after Brad and Angelina destroyed it," says Sally Fever, who once watched Life Or Something Like It and really didn't like it very much. "I hear that Angelina is going to buy it and have it made into a dress, so she can wear it at every movie premiere just to shove it in Jen's face. True story."
BABY NUMBER 8 HAS ANGIE FEELING GREAT: "This painting turned into a baby two minutes after this picture was taken," says 11-year-old Alice Beans, "and then Angelina adopted it, named it Screwujen and sent its first dirty diaper to Jennifer Aniston in the mail. I don't even know who these people are but my Aunt Kathy swears it's true."
BRANGELINA'S DAY OFF: "Brad's a big Ferris Bueller fan," claims my dog, who is currently asleep on the couch. "He thought it would be fun to reenact the art museum scene. Naturally this means he's leaving Angelina for his ex-wife."
SOURCE OF ANGIE'S POWER: REVEALED!!!: "This is the picture Angelina performs witchcraft to when she's ready to steal someone's husband away," says fake Dr. Albert Quack, "as you can see, the picture represents a great divide, which symbolized Angelina's ability to separate loving couples like Brad and Jen. It also represents a powerful vagina, and I don't think I need to explain how that fits in here. Or do I? I'd rather not, to be honest with you."
Feel free to come up with your own headlines in the comments!
[All Images Via Getty.]